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I
IKnowNoBox
Feb 02, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Ink Imp

she peeks out from candlelight

into the shadows cast about

concrete chamber walls

silhouette blends

fades disappears

appears again

her tepid tears 

fill a chalice

as she urges me

with silent taunts

to stain these

paper altars

with verse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

— IKnowNoBox, Feb 02, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

More from this author

Critiques

F

fthillsboomer

18 years 3 months ago

Nice

A dark muse you have me lad. Twill turn out naught but bad. Make the lady laugh and grin, make her share the joy within. this of course coming after i penned the most morose thing I've done. Simple, sweet, bitterly, and tragically yet beautifully sad- how did you do all that in so little space?
V

vonnegutfan

18 years 3 months ago

Please continue to “stain

Please continue to "stain these paper altars with verse", sometimes the beauty of a thing is in it's blemishes
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 3 months ago

Not Only ...

do I like the words you use ... but also the sensual physical shape of the piece, straight left line ... and curved provocatively down the right. Thanx, Chuck PS: I'm perfectly willing to be wrong here, but shouldn't challis be chalice? And candle light is properly candlelight, one word. And your "stain these paper altars with verse" to me is poignantly beautiful. If you're seeking growth here at this site, you are for sure succeeding at obtaining it. Thanx much.
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 3 months ago

The progression of this poem

if you read the revision(which I invite you to read)this poem has been an example of the valuable feedback one can get at Neopoet. In ink, Dabbler
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IKnowNoBox

18 years 3 months ago

Thank you Chuck

for the valuable red ink.May your well never run dry bard. In ink, David
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IKnowNoBox

18 years 3 months ago

Her tears are more then tears of sorrow

Thank you for your comment Boomer.I grew up in a house with three brothers if you wanted to be heard you spoke straight to the point,I guess it stayed with me. In ink, Dabbler
T

TheRealTearsICry

18 years 4 months ago

..

nice.
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

18 years 4 months ago

Ink Imp

Hey, It's been a while for a posting from you! Nice, I loved: She peeks out from candlelight into the shadows cast about drew me right in.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

18 years 4 months ago

Enjoyed reading

Really like this. The silhouette blends fades disap… …appears again stopped the flow for me. other than that its really good
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 4 months ago

red ink

This is good work, evocative. One question. The last word, does it means alters as in change, or altars, the things in churches where all the religious paraphernalia are? cheers, Jess
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IKnowNoBox

18 years 4 months ago

Alters of medatation

you know I believe my ink imp would bleed for me...but I dare not ask for more then her tears.Thank you Jess Evocative means a lot to me. In ink, dabbler
theladyblue

theladyblue

18 years 4 months ago

ohhhhhhh my

silhouette blends fades disap… …appears again... this has stolen my breath, only to give it back in a whimper... I do love it when you get it right! *sigh* <3 Emarie "For every shadow, no matter it's depth, is threatened by the morning's light..."
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IKnowNoBox

18 years 4 months ago

You caught the intent again Emarie

I will wait to see what others think of the revision I had two people a guy and a girl read it and the flow was broken I feel now it still has the intent the italics are eough for that. In ink, Dabbler
theladyblue

theladyblue

18 years 4 months ago

hummmm

well of course i still lurve it! but it did lose a little for me...although not too much at all! I reeeeealllllyyyy lurve this piece David! Great Work! "For every shadow, no matter it's depth, is threatened by the morning's light..." <3 Emarie
A

Ancientone

18 years 4 months ago

Getting back to writing...

well shown in metaphorical ink. Nicely done David, been a while, hope all is okay with you friend. :) Patrick/AO
C

Calliope

18 years 4 months ago

This...

...is a wonderful and lovely peice coming from you.It's got the emotion of a more sensitive side of you.I think I like this side of you[wink]. Excellent work! Lacy, "I sometimes find it half a sin, to put to words the grief I feel, for words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal, the soul within" Alfred Tennyson -In Memoriam Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
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IKnowNoBox

18 years 4 months ago

Thank you lacy

If I do not use all the tears she sheds she may fail to return....to shed more. what an intense poem you have shown me ...thank you. In ink, Dabbler
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 4 months ago

wow

this is the kind of poem that makes me stop and want to read very intently: particularly the italicized imagery which is absolutely exquisite and sets a brilliant mood: "concrete chamber walls/silhouette blends/fades disappears/appears again.." that gave me a momentary vision of window blinds whispering to one another. i'm suprised you didn't get a full five star rating for this poem. you should have. great job
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IKnowNoBox

18 years 4 months ago

Thank you Quills

'window blinds whispering to one another' I like that imagery as well. In ink, Dabbler ps Every poet should have an ink imp..I can tell you do.