Canvas Of The Soul

Beautiful work on this poem Janice. Your wording is excellent. It is obvious that much thought and work was given to each line. Right from the title which captures the eye right to the last line . I would be hard put to select one line out of all . They are all wonderfully descriptive

ladytheresa Janice lovely poem and elegantly done. I just love it...

I said it out loud to check the cadence and really like it? I agree with you about the last line. How about "Into the misty storm" or something along that line?

ladytheresa Good morning Janice! In reading this piece I gat the sense that what you are conveying to the reader is that you are putting events in the past behind you. You are recognizing and acknowledging past events but moving forward. So the last line speaks to me that "caverns of the torn" would be the "resting place" so to speak for unpleasant memories. If that is indeed what you are trying to convey then "I get it." This poem speaks to me and I understand where you are going with it. Previous suggestion is good but ask yourself what message you wish to give to the reader? This opens the door for you as the poet to explore your creativity a bit more in depth and stretches your abilities a bit more too! It's a growing experience and a very sweet one at that! Hope this helps you!!! LadyT

First of all, let me state that again ... this is a beautiful piece of work. I agree totally with all of the wonderful comments. Now the editor in me comes out. You know that all of this is meant as constructive criticism (I hope), so take it as such and do with it what you will -that is always your choice! You lose your rhythm and rhyme a bit after the first four lines. I have a few suggestions and would rather go over them with you via email if you'd like. It's nothing serious, but I don't want you to feel like I'm ripping your work to pieces because that would never be my intention! You've already pointed out the last line to yourself. I'd love to help you work on this a bit. Private message me or email me and I'll offer my suggestions if you'd like. ~ Ronda

painting and poetry(two great taste that go great together). In ink, Dabbler

I think it misdesciribes this canvas as did the word torn you are reconditioning your soul at the end of this poem in so doing your soul is reborn not forsaken or pitaful or do I got the wrong description of the word "forlon" you need to find a replacement I think for this word forlon unless you are perpously throwing us off here not sure but the rest is really well and flows nicely. I like it alot Donnie/Sinbad will change my vote if you decide to fix this little glicth to a five just because I can't see any thing beifiting with this word Forlon just my opinion we all got them