The "Rub"

I've been married to two women,

but neither knew how to cook, at all;

one couldn't even clean...

..the other moved my happy home,

and didn't show me where...

..and that's the "rub".

I can't believe my propensity

to attract the damndest luck,

it could be raining money,

and I'd be strucken by the safe!

they could be passing out free donuts,

and I would get the holes...

..and that's the "rub".

I once had won a contest,

winning gasoline for a year,

and me, who doesn't own a car.

I've got unlimited long distance,

but, if a loved one calls collect...

I'm unable to take the call...

..and that's the "rub".

In my life, things go this way,

not that I'm complaining;

for I know no one would care,

I'm not asking for any sympathy,

'cause no one gives a care...

..and that's the "rub"!