Father To Son

To write about a subject like this takes bravery and understanding. You have shown both very clearly throughout this poem. His son is quick to deflect the blows Then a teardrop falls from his eyes. The rage was out of control A better way my dad was not shown These lines for me hit to the heart of the issue. By not holding grudges you show his survivors instinct. The gentle rhyme and flow tell the story well. Nice work Janice! Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

PurpleMoonDoll -- it takes bravery to write of these things. I would like to offer a couple of suggestions/observations, if that's OK? In the lines, "His story, reluctantly told From father to son it was passed," and "The rage was out of control A better way my dad was not shown" the passive voice "was passed", "was not shown" detract from the strength of this good poem. Perhaps something like, "From father to son was passed" and "Yet 'twas the only way love was shown"? This is a good draft, I'd like to see you polish it up and make it shine! Good work, Janice! I'm adding you to my buddy list! Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!

I too had an alcoholic father, but my mom was beaten, we were verbally. my fight is different, but a fight none the less. Father to daughter: verbally I fight to win. learning not to pass it down.

This is SO much more powerful and evocative! Good job! Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!

I can relate only too well to your poem...You captured your character in a light that shines on him..enjoyed reading.

Smiles:) Barbara It is still great. One suggestion I have is that maybe in the line that says I vow not pass it down, might sound better if said (I vow not to pass it down.) Just a suggestion.

I can see that this has been a labour of love, re-editing with great thought and feeling, when a particular poem grabs me, i tend to read all the comments through as well, it can tend to give a fuller picture, an insite to the conclusion, all i can say this has been a pleasure reading, Love is such a beautiful gift, but often so painfully given and received, Very Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~