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Q
Quillsvein1
Jan 25, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

ribbon lip

i suppose you could never

have known since was too proud

to tell you but i

eavesdropped on your every

smile and tear

and swam down your smooth

cheek with silent strokes

of adoring ascension

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I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 3 months ago

Is this a draft Quills

the title carries promise cheek with silent stroke i would like to see the second draft for this poem. In ink, Dabbler
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 3 months ago

actually

not a first draft per se, though valery said that "poems are never finished, only abandoned", just an embarrassing example of bad typing: i now use a laptop and my hands are to big to adjust to the damn thing. ah!
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 3 months ago

not a rough draft

I would leave this be. It's perfect. The imagery is soft and beautiful, filled with morose. The one thing that might be changed is the title, especially if the poem is left as such. If you have more to add, perhaps the title might be explained at that point. Minor spelling note: ascension is the correct spelling (take it from a lapsed Catholic). ~ Ronda
dbaker

dbaker

18 years 3 months ago

your poem

Gorgeous piece. I happen to like the thought that a poem is never finished but rather just abandoned. Once we the poet write a poem and give it to another to read, we have lost ownership of it. At least that is my opinion. Again-lovely poem. Your images were spot on. -DSB
dbaker

dbaker

18 years 2 months ago

Smile

It is nothing more than a 15th century liesure suit.-DS Baker
theladyblue

theladyblue

17 years 2 months ago

to be the cheek...

what more is there to desire? i have no answer... <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ 'My prayer is a rapture in blue' - The Ink Spots 'My Prayer' 1939