Thunder

But a good one. As a reader, some parts are difficult to follow for consistency's sake. Certain lines trip up the mind. Read it aloud to yourself (or someone else) and you may notice them for yourself. The idea is a very good one; I just think it could be better said. Thank you for sharing! ~ Ronda

to this, to the distant sounds of thunder only I can hear. Very nicely done, picture well painted! Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!

This has a lyrical quality that flows like a dream. I love the rhythm and rhyme used - it drives the poem forward beautifully. I can relate to this closely. You captured the theme really well. Kaz x It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

you got that in the theme well.every thing else (flow and pace)works in on a later date. In ink, Dabbler

This one is almost there I can see where it is going Chrys

I am sorry tonight I just have the words for this one except maybe, the flow is divine and I love this side of you I dont think I have glimsped this moonman before but its poignant and beautiful ... wow I did find some words after all .. not enough though to describe this one .. love and Hug Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Stumbling around in the dark and found this piece it is so funny how some things just appear right when there suppose to :) I love this piece not only does it flow perfectly and I like you have a southern drawl so I didn't have a problem when I read it outloud ~smiles~ but I can relate as so many who read this can. For way too long I have heard that distant rumble in the background not only in my personal life but professionally as well it seems that once lightening strikes it leaves a lasting impression that you just get the hibby jibbess when you hear the sounds that are all too familiar. anyways I will chatter for ever but I really enjoyed this and glad I came upon it. Jen

You made our noise and gone Richard I think this line ended this way for the sake of rhyme. It just does not sound right and is uncomfortable. What about something like you made your noise , then moved on

I feel this poem still needs a little work. There are places where it trips the tongue when read aloud. But my favorite lines are: before I enter situations or get anywhere near because I’m still hearing thunder no-one else can hear. we may have to start calling you the warrior poet. Always, Cat

was a good write, lots to think about. I kinda like the break in flow, I like change. attempting recovery moving on plastic hearts << < <