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Sinbadthesailorman
Sinbadthesailorman
Dec 20, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Child's Play has been selected for publication @ Triond.com

Child's Play
Has been selected for publication @ Triond.com

http://authspot.com/poetry/childs-play-6/

A thought by Sinbad the Sailor Man
— Sinbadthesailorman, Dec 20, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: U.S. A. Indiana, Valparaiso, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Frost, Walt Whitman, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Carl Sandburg these I have read some And so Many More. I have no Favorite or any that I dislike. Whom I consider to be poets; of course there are many Dark and hateful souls, who would cry out and to I will lend an ear, but some. They just leave a awful taste in my heart that I can not bear to read twice. Let alone as many times I would do normally; as I must.

More from this author

Critiques

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purplemoondoll

18 years 5 months ago

This reads

Initially like a skipping game/rhyme, as the title suggests, child's play. So that works really well for me. The transition to a darker tone was good. Some of the rhyming sticks a little eg.- Super balls and shopping malls;my darling we did it all. I felt mall would have been better to keep the rhyme. You lost the rhyme and rhythm in a few places. You may have done that on purpose so please ignore my comments if you think it works well the way it is. BUT all in all I felt this is a great piece of writing. The story is told well and the twist at the end was excellent. You kept me there to the end and I enjoyed your story telling style. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

I'm so glad you liked it

As for trying to slow the thing down. I broke up the rhythm just a little, so it wouldn't be just a rhyme. And again I am not schooled in this art form yet. So things just happen to go right some times. I guess only because of the way they sound to me in my minds ear, and not aloud. I don't read aloud, I know I should, I hope to some day get the time and the money to go back to school. Or take some more classes. For I can better understand what it is I need to do, instead of what just happens now and again. Thanxs Donnie/ Sinbad P.S. I appolgize for not responding sooner, I some times forget much, truely I do.
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Patthepoet

18 years 5 months ago

Review of Child's Play"

This poem has a lot of power, of meaning to me, partly because of the rhythm, but mostly because of the story. It sounds so much like Life as a lot of people have to deal with it. It was sad,very sad. I just hope this didn't really happen in your life. You appear to be very talented. Thanks much for sharing and Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

I known a couple of people who meet in high school

and they are still together after 30 yrs. In fact my buddy is the one who gave me the ideal. After I was asking about are old freinds from summer vactions on my uncles house out in the country. It didn't happen to me but, some times I feel as if it did. Donnie/ Sinbad Thanxs for your coments. Again I do slip off into my own little world sometimes. That seems to be a constant complaint of my friends, they always say that about me. I am a loner kind of guy but, not by choice and it is worst now that I am divorced. I guess I was raised to be alone.
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 5 months ago

I love this

the construction lulls and amuses us only to get punched in the heart by the ending. Great work. cheers, Jess wishing you a Salubrious Solstice
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

Again this was one of those that just happened

I have a hard time understanding where they come from. Sometimes they just do come and I wonder. But, it must be me. Hey, I hope, I hope no one esle is in here, there is no one esle in here but, me. he said to himself. I would feel better if I did alot of drugs at least I would have something to blame it on. I guess ten yrs. of perscription drug use is just as bad as the others who abuse drugs but, I didn't have as much fun as those people, using non pesriction drugs or as much fun as they seemed to have had. Donnie/Sinbad
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barbsdad2003

18 years 1 month ago

I'm so glad ...

you're keeping at it. Your work continues to improve. Esp. as shown by this particular piece. There's a long way still to go, but that's what's so much fun, of course: the journey. Yes, if or when you can, do take in a class or two. Choose wisely. If the course is more historical than personally helpful, be ready to look elsewhere for something that'll work well to improve the quality of your output---and that more reliably; i.e., not just random hit or miss. I'm encouraged by your sticktoitiveness ... and your evident improvements. Yours, Chuck
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks so much

I would say, that I lived a very quite life, and haven't did any body wrong But, I think those are the words in one of Elvis's songs. You know I did take some college classes way back when. When I was first inclined to get off of Soc. Sec. Disability but, the med.s messed me up, not to mention the stress of my siblings and step father messing with my wifes emotions, as we were living at my mom's house. I made the Deans List once but, Then I was trying to learn computers but,I had to take litature classes too. Maybe some of the stuff seeped in I don't recall. But my weaknesses, spelling, grammer, and the like. Where never and issue really when I was being graded. Why I don't know. I might have to go back to the first grade to learn proper english. But if I was truly good, I could get some one to fix the problems I have. Which in turn may be my only asset. Donnie/ Sinbad