The Bug

Did you notice
I was standing there,
with my face pressed to the glass.

Distorting features
splitting hairs,
slow down... you move too fast.

Behind the pane
I'm not the same,
I'm looking through glass eyes.

Pressing into
mixing time,
did you see me, hear my cries.

As I was standing there
in the glass's glare,
I saw you how you are.

I'll probably bust my ass
on all this broken glass,
I can't stand it in your jar.

— themoonman, Dec 13, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Critiques

barbsdad2003

18 years 5 months ago

Love This!

Clever. A delight to read. Funky. Perceptive. Nicely nuanced re the pains to be found in a sort of relationship claustrophobia. Especially a union with someone who is perhaps a control freak who can't see or hear you. Or some such. Full of fun surprises for such a short piece. Thanx, Chuck

themoonman

18 years 5 months ago

Thank you for reading

And for your great comments.....

poewriter58

18 years ago

Richard

this is incredible I don't know whether to laugh or cry absolutely love that last stanza Only one tiny tiny suggestion try this with my face pressed to the glass instead of in see what you think Chrys

themoonman

18 years ago

Hi Chrys..

thanks for stopping and taking time to read and comment.. you are right I'll be achanging that in .. have a great day.. Richard

Janice Pearce

18 years ago

The Bug

Richard thank you for bringing a smile to my face. you reinforced my position on capturing bugs when I was a kid

themoonman

18 years ago

Hi Janice..

glad this one made you smile.. Richard

rider68

18 years ago

Hi Richard

This is great imagination, What got you to thinking alone these lines? Very clever, Loved the read Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

themoonman

18 years ago

Hi Peter...

glad you stopped by.. there are really a lot of good poems on the board right now.. thanks for your comments.. this was written about a relationship.. not a good one.. Richard