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You, Me And Old Winter

we lay together
limbs enmeshed
our shared and panting breath
so cool upon our fading ecstasy
while outside,
beyond the fragile walls of home
Old Winter cared enough
to pile his frozen drifts
of snowflake joys against
our frost-rimed windowpanes
and ice-bound frozen doors
to hide our aftermath of love
from lonely prying eyes
and keep us sheltered safe within
a golden skein of furnace warmth

who dares to say Old Winter is my enemy?
for while a cold and cruelly uncaring death
awaits beyond the confines of our tenuous
and sheltered warmth for those
who unsuspecting march into
his unforgiving, cold embrace,
for you and I
his soft, deep wind-borne drifts against
our frost-imprisoned home are precious
sacred gifts for they keep us
walled away inside and thus
they keep you here,
entwined,
with me.
— Race_9togo, Dec 04, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Critiques

D

DDCdogood

18 years 6 months ago

Great Read, Crystal Clear

'His soft, deep wind-borne drifts', Nice line. The title is perfect, language eloquent, rhythm was cool. Theme was Loving and the theme had afterglow all over it. The beginning and ending was nice. The internal logic was very together. Great write 'race_9togo' keep em' comin' Peace DDC
E

easylife_2

17 years 5 months ago

This is a joy to read

With language so clear and precise,bringing out the theme in all its entirety,what else can I say?This is very good race.
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Thanks easy, glad you enjoyed it.

You should have seen the original though...this has changed A LOT for the better, because folks here took the time and trouble to show me how to do it right! Thanks again my friend, Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
J

Jinxed

17 years 5 months ago

a great poem that was very

a great poem that was very detailed and full of imagery. i have to be honest and admit that i found the flow a bit hard to follow at times but that's probably just me. sorry hear about your heart attack but at least everything is ok now, that's the main thing, take care.
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 5 months ago

Jinxed

Thanks. Yes, it is a little hard to follow the flow. But I won't change it again. My wife likes it just the way it is! Regards JIM "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
K

KambateSpike

17 years 3 months ago

great stuff!

Loved this piece, wonderful rhythm and sense of urgency. captivating lines, ex: "beyond the fragile walls of home Old Winter cared enough to pile his frozen drifts of snowflake joys against our frost-rimed windowpanes" great beauty, thanks for sharing, wish I could hear this read aloud.
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 3 months ago

Thanks Spike

Glad you enjoyed it. You know I was wondering about maybe neopoet having like a voice section, where we could record and store our poems so that folks who want to could listen to them recited. interesting idea. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
MI

Mohammad Yamin Iraqi

17 years 3 months ago

Race_9Togo

Jim! This romantic poem is very skillfully written. It has good flow and imagery. Thanks for sharing. -Mohammad
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks Mohammad

Glad you enjoyed it Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race