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themoonman
themoonman
Dec 04, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Wading

 I hold my head up and wade through the world,

but it's not the same...

Without your brightness,

I'm withering in the dark.

On Saturday, I'll bring you a flower.

There is a bluebird on the window sill.

The greenhouse is overgrown.

I can't pull it all together.

The kids have their own lives,

and I miss you.
 

There is still the faint sweet smell of you

in the closet I can't clean.

I only open it on bad days.

We didn't have enough pictures.

On Saturdays, the bluebird visits.

I leave some crumbs,

take you a flower,

and miss you...
god I miss you.


— themoonman, Dec 04, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

More from this author

Critiques

Mark

Mark

18 years 6 months ago

i am sorry man

I am sorry you are so lonely I feel it in your writing. I am glad you are with us though. I'm glad you can still find a happy feeling - keep that Truly, Mark a single point in the infinite circle am I
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 5 months ago

This one is so personal

It feels almost inappropriate to comment. But I know what you feel, so the poem is a success. cheers, Jess wishing you a Salubrious Solstice
themoonman

themoonman

18 years 3 months ago

Hi Nobox...

thank you for your comments...they are much appreciated....
themoonman

themoonman

18 years 3 months ago

Thank you Frost...

I was kinda proud of this one when my sister read it and in tears asked me where the hell did that come from...she writes as well..thanks for taking the time to read and comment. You are very talented and for you to say it's excellent...well, damn. just maybe I hit the mark with this one. Richard
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 10 months ago

I like this title very much

I often times try for one word titles and the feelings you have shared the smell in the closet when I lost my wife by divorce I kept one of her pillows I took from her side of the bed and kept it in a space bag so I would have her scent such a strong reminder I feel the wading and the loneliness unfortnatly the space bag over powered it after a few weeks but I kept it on my bed for years anyway Donnie/ Sinbad
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 10 months ago

Donnie...

I'm glad this one touched you and sorry it did at the same time, as I said before this was just a write, something I had witnessed but not to the degree that was written as I added some of me in the write... put myself there.. thank you for bringing this back to my attention as this was a special write for me... Richard
R

R.M.Shanmugam

17 years 5 months ago

It sounds as a lementation

It sounds as a lementation for a departed soul. striking both the beraved and others fantasising
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 5 months ago

R.M.

thank you for going back to read this write... your thoughts are well received! Richard
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 5 months ago

Richard

Way to go, you just keep getting better. Awesome write, Sincerely, Linda
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 5 months ago

Linda...

I've said it before, you are a fresh light here! thank you Richard
E

easylife_2

17 years 3 months ago

Richard

What more can I say,such sublime writing.Thank you.
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

easylife...

always a pleasure to know you've read one of my writes... thank you! Richard
C

Conect11

17 years 3 months ago

takes me exactly

the that place I was when Karen and I were seperated. The house just felt different, though I could smell her everywhere. You put alot of quiet, dignified pain in here Richard. I felt every bit of what you were saying. Mark W. "An insult is just someone who hates you making a noise to indicate their hatred, a barking dog. Criticism is someone trying to help you, by telling you something about yourself that you were a little too comfortable not knowing. " ~ David Wong
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

Mark...

thanks man... this is one of those writes where you are glad to have made the reader feel, but then feel bad about it... know what I mean... thanks for reading Richard
Rett

Rett

17 years 3 months ago

Richard

You have the unique ability to put yourself into a situation whether it is real or not and then to write it down like it is. Well done. Made me want to cry. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." If government is the answer, it's a stupid question!
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

Rett...

Now that is high praise sir... thank you! just knowing you read it and liked it makes my day. Richard
nokros

nokros

17 years 3 months ago

Themoonman

you're right. you had to write it down, otherwise we would have missed it. this is what i call an honest piece of art. my humble opinion
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

Nokros...

I did have to write it down... many times I wake up in the night with my brain demanding paper and pen... this was one of those times... Art... well, I thank you for that... your opinion counts, even if you didn't like it I would want to know... thanks for the read and the great comment... Richard
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

Thank you Janice...

I'm glad you liked it and noticed the revealing side of it... We can't write without sharing something... if we do, nobody will read it... thanks for your look in the well... Richard
nokros

nokros

17 years 3 months ago

“There is still a faint

"There is still a faint sweet smell of you in the closet I can’t clean." i can't fail to recognise the urge to stir, to arouse in these two lines "On Saturdays, the bluebird visits." then there's the decadence, the acceptance... i call it art. its takes one or two lines to seperate a poem from just another verse. yours nokros
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 3 months ago

Nokros...

I thank you again and so glad it caused a stir... I love the Art of Poetry... I feel I'm a bit rough around the edges at it but I do try. I am honored by your thoughts on this write... Richard
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

16 years 10 months ago

Wading

Moon, This one gave me shivers down my spine. Just an awesome write~ ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 4 months ago

Annie...

This is the first poem I posted on this site! thank you for bringing it up and reminding me of it.
Tonya

Tonya

16 years 4 months ago

ah Richard...

This is dark and lovely. Such melancholy and sadness drips from the lines. I like the contrasts of colors and objects that gives the poem body.. bright and dark, green and blue,flowers and birds.. they suggest to me and evenness in plodding on, accepting what is, yet keeping what was still alive.. memories of sweetness. (You have a great imagination and understanding of sorrow.) I especially like the closest line.. memory of scent (a very powerful sense!) Very poignant piece. Always, Tonya
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 4 months ago

Tonya...

yipee ... that was my reaction when I saw you on the board, glad you liked this piece, it is one of my personal favorites.
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 4 months ago

Perry, thank you for

Perry, thank you for resurrecting this poem. No wonder the Man in the Moon is a poet. Love. ~A "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pine
Tonya

Tonya

15 years 10 months ago

Thank you for

resurrecting this piece. I like the slight changes you made. The last line did add to the depth of loneliness and wistfulness. You’re a very special type of writer! And I love it! :0) Your friend, Tonya
AW

Ayaz Warith

15 years 10 months ago

Just Beautiful!

Dear Richard, I don't know what to say. How superb your lament is! Language is lucid, but rich. Just great. Regards. Ayaz Warith
B

blistered-pen

15 years 10 months ago

As soon as I read the line

As soon as I read the line about the kids having their own lives I knew I was about to be depressed, in a good way of course, like when I watch Titanic. Great poem, and I agree with Jess, it does feel extremely personal. But I read the comments first, to see if it was from personal experience. I find it fascinating that you just drew this out of you from nothing, amazing. JRS
Loreli

Loreli

15 years 10 months ago

I was very moved by your

I was very moved by your write. Although not lost a significant other in my life my divorce brought about similar feelings, not being able to move in my life, my kids with thier own lives...Thank you for sharing it. Loreli