Indigo Obsession

Head slung back, chestnut hair jostled
Scarlet lips in a pout, jade eyes a blaze
Peachy fawn skin tingling with spicy chill
Movement felt first in her lengthy neck
Rolling bit by bit down to her ample chest
Just as if the call was luring her heart into it
She felt her belly sway into her luscious hips
Hypnotic, seductive, sultry, and so sinfully sweet
Every strum of that guitar pulsing as if her own
Every rap of the snare brought new emotion
Every thump of the tom toms electrified her core
With the boom of the bass she knew the depth of her
Her whole body concluding to that mellow beat
Hands feeling the fierce hunger that feeds desire
Warm breath becoming ragged as if in a lovers ear
A slow whine comes from deep within her throat
She has found her true ecstasy in your melody

— theladyblue, Dec 03, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

meic

18 years 6 months ago

“Sapphires now! Oh. Yes

"Sapphires now! Oh. Yes the cosmic blue set into the wail of Miles Davis' horn, midnight thoughts in dire deep seas of mysteries and nightmare scenes and enduring indigo loneliness." ... a section of one my poems 'Penny for your Thoughts' to be posted later - it seems blue is inextricably linked to music [at which I'm hopeless] and dancing [at which I'm not!] Swaying hips - a seductive if not hypnotic image. Hwyl fawr! Mike

dbaker

18 years 5 months ago

Your Poem

If this piece was read aloud, at say a poetry recital you would express the line breaks and or eternal rhyming structure of the poem. People would naturally hear your pauses...or hear how at some point you speed up to make a point clearer to the ear. As reader in the form that it sits in now, I don't have a clue as to what part of this poem is stressed or not so stressed. In my minds-(ear) I placed my own beat to it. Very intense poem by the way! I want you to know that I am enjoying reading your work today. So, don't think I am knocking any part of your work. Quite the opposite. Try reading this piece aloud. When you stop, make a line break, or create a stanza...see if visually you can make the reader, enjoy the beat, the tempo that you wanted for this piece. Once again these are just my opinions. -DS Baker

themoonman

18 years 5 months ago

This is a very exciting

This is a very exciting musical piece...and I loved the poem too.

Arrow

17 years 7 months ago

I don't know who gave this one star

b/c I think this is a great poem. I read this as the recreation of an image of a nightclub singer but it has such a voyeuristic quality that my only suggestion would be to consider a change to the present tense. Either way - very enjoyable.

theladyblue

17 years 7 months ago

wow thanks so much!

its funny that you caught the scene cause most (men mostly) think it about something a little more *ahem* naughty lol which i suppose it could be and for that to each his own lol but is actually a piece inspired by one of my fav singers lol I will take a closer look and see if I could take you suggestion without losing the integrity of the poem...many many thanks friend! <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ "For every shadow, no matter it's depth, is threatened by the morning's light..."

Arrow

17 years 7 months ago

For me,

one word differentiates the scene - whine (v. moan). Just goes to show how important word choice is. What singer?

theladyblue

17 years 7 months ago

haha

so true...Lizz Wright actually...one of her live performances of 'Taste of Honey' is the one that inspired it <3 Emarie @~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~@ "For every shadow, no matter it's depth, is threatened by the morning's light..."