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Violent waves

 

 

Have you ever surfed in violent ocean?
Gotten violated by a wild wave?
Held under struggling,
swimming for the surface amidst the turmoil.
Swam to the surface with your breath expiring
then found sand.
You swam the wrong way.
But you are alive.

We make it back,
just barely.
But back
Still here
Not sure why.
There is no god,
only life.

 

 


— weirdelf, Nov 23, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

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Critiques

Mark

Mark

18 years 6 months ago

I think the older we get

the more our faith is tested - like why me? but then I made the decision to surf the violent ocean and only have me to blame for the outcome so why lose sight of God and how is it a fact he has lost sight of us? Am I reading this upside down?
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

yep, upside down, like I was

To quote one of my least favourite authors, the despicable Ayn Rand, she spoke true for once when she said "faith is not a short-cut to knowing, it is a short-circuit in the brain" Belief in a benevolent god shits in the face of reality, it is up to us to correct ourselves and strive to survive cheers, Jess wishing all a Salubrious Solstice
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

Then surly when we survive a pounding...

we are thankful to be bruised and slightly pulverized. and perhaps we are a little more cautious to real existing danger as opposed to artificial,and shallow fears. cheers, David I also fell this poem going from accelerated to exhausted..very effective for the theme.
Mark

Mark

18 years 6 months ago

For sure David

although those shallow or false fears can be killers we all know.
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 6 months ago

As a regular surfer and survivor

Of violent waves, I can relate to this so closely. Maybe the bloodyminded pain in the a++e side sticks two fingers up at the wave and keeps us here no matter what life may throw at us. Its a good trait. Writing gets it out there and puts it into perspective. Nice work Jess, I really like this. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

ta Kaz

isn't weird that at the depths of depression we sometimes get our greatest inspirations/incentives? I am planning to write a series of poems in very strict formal modes, sonnet, villanelle. Have you ever read "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas? even mentioning it brings tears to my eyes. Possibly the best poem ever written in the world. And you know I don't say that lightly, have an M.A. in poetry. cheers, Jess
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 6 months ago

I havent read it but will now

Its not wierd at all my friend. I think poets have a really healthy way of dealing with things. Rather than let the crap fester inside we get it out there. Turning the negative into something positive. I look forward to seeing what you come up with! Kaz x It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
A

anonymitylll

18 years 6 months ago

Its like dipping through

Its like dipping through happiness. and sadness. and depression. and then finding your way back to the middle. I write about the water a lot. because its my comfort zone. where i find my peace among the turbulence. and then u realize theres no force around you except the trees and the tainted air you breathe. i loved it.
docmaverick

docmaverick

18 years 6 months ago

Mr. elf...

....you admit evidence of God when you brought up the wave. What else is God, but a force to admire, and respect? Try and command a wave, and get a "wake up"...try and harness the wind and blame gravity when you fall? I think not. respect, doc.
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

Doc as you see it with creation I can see it

as the Tao which could be ocean and wake but that is if the Tao is limited.Possibilities more then a god can count. I have no problem with anybody limiting there vision of the after life I find it intresting,but it seems when I am asked my beliefs by such people that they are much more intrested in dismissing them...or right out denouncing my spiritual variation. Bold statement Doc,limit not the possibilities of others. In ink, Dabbler
docmaverick

docmaverick

18 years 6 months ago

in explaination...

..I think I may have mis-stated my comment. Apologies. I'm not limiting any possibilities, on the contrary, I give a wider view. I bow down to any situation that "has the upper-hand". be it Nature, Mother Earth, or Fate/Karma...they're all forms of "God", in my small mind. respect, doc.
docmaverick

docmaverick

18 years 6 months ago

I Tip My Hat...

..to Mr. elf for procuring just the right combination of letters, to form the words, that created all of this dialogue. Cheers, doc.
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

Then there is our common ground.

with clarity there is communication.In yelling we provoke defensive and offensive scenerios. or also known as dogmatic spats.verses anti-dogmatic spats,even within the church there is division over every thing from sacrament to text...there is even the same element to the anti isms division by metaphysics and mtyh based lesser deities and philosophy,if What is best matters only to the individual and damn the heretic that would vampirize entranced followers and create tears n family and even heath. So weeding out the Heretics umong both "sides" important to clarity of communication. Cheers, david
D

dbrock

18 years 6 months ago

…just wondering when

...just wondering when someone does get violated in a wild wave, why they sometimes first say, "God help me!" ...things that make me say, "hmmmmmmm?" Hope you're feeling better, Jess and I understand. xo donna
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

18 years 6 months ago

You swam the wrong way

I'm with Donna here I think For I dare not speak for any one but me! Hmmmmm but still you made it to shore Hmmmm There is no god God sees you even when you don't see him Foot Prints my Grand Mother said she believed I wrote it Although I wish I did I didn't But she believed I did so what makes her happy made be happy I believe that even in the grasps of hell you can still be saved till the last day I've always had a proplem with if God is perfect then why are we so F Up if God doesn't make mistakes then why do we need to be saved I'm just now descovering the war that was claimed to have taken place in heaven where this stuff come from I still seeking once set on a path take it to to opening lost in the forest I can't see it for the trees hmmm
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

About a bang

ever see dynamite calibrated core wrapped inert set with fuse light and throw the mayham that follows dirt clogs and divets and dust entropy extreme yet only brief is this phase ever see dymamite after the bang? all we see is changed terrain where once there was nothing now there is less if we smell the air around the scene ground zero and the trailing winds we still smell the cordite that some wonder how will the dust settle... and does it matter who what why where or even when the fuse was light just that we are not blowing in the wind
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

One of my favourite Authors, Tom Robbins

wrote in "Still life With Woodpecker" (Bernard Mickey Wrangle "The Woodpecker" blew up draft centres during the Vietnam war, he had been on the "10 Most Wanted" list for many years, this is his reply to a letter to the paper that said he had suffered enough for being on the run for so long) "Ha ha. "Victim? The difference between a criminal and an outlaw is that while criminals frequently are victims, outlaws never are. Indeed, the first step toward becoming a true outlaw is the refusal to be victimized. "All people who live subject to other people's laws are victims. People who break laws out of greed, frustration, or vengeance are victims. People who overturn laws in order to replace them with their own laws are victims. (l am speaking here of revolutionaries) We outlaws, however, live beyond the law. We don't merely live beyond the letter of the law - many businessmen, most politicians, and all cops do that-we live beyond the spirit of the law.In a sense, then, we live beyond society. Have we a common goal, that goal is to turn the tables on the nature of society. When we succeed, we raise the exhilaration content of the universe. We even raise it a little bit when we fail. "Victim? I deplored the ugliness of the Vietnam War. But what I deplored, others have deplored before me. When war turns whole populations into sleep-walkers, outlaws don't join forces with alarm clocks. Outlaws, like poets, rearrange the nightmare. It is elating work. The years of the war were the most glorious of my life. I wasn't risking my skin to protest a war. I risked my skin for fun. For beauty! "I love the magic of TNT. How eloquently it speaks! Its resounding rumble, its clap, its quack is scarcely lees deep than the passionate moan of the Earth herself. A well-timed series of detonations is like a choir of quakes. For all of its fluent resonance, a bomb says only one word - Surprise!'-and then applauds itself. I love the hot hands of explosion. I love a breeze perfumed with the devil smell of powder (so close in its effect to the angel smell of sex). I love the way that architecture, under the impetus of dynamite, dissolves almost in slow motion, crumbling delicately, shedding bricks like feathers, corners melting, grim facades breaking into grins, supports shrugging and calling it a day, tons of totalitarian dreck washing away in the wake of a circular tsunami of air. I love that precious portion of a second when window glass becomes elastic and bulges out like bubble gum before popping. I love public buildings made public at last, doors flung open to the citizens, to the creatures, to the universe. Baby, come on in! And the final snuff of smoke. Yes, and I love the trite mythos of the outlaw. I love the self-conscious romanticism of the outlaw. I love the black wardrobe of the outlaw. I love the fey smile of the outlaw. I love the tequila of the outlaw and the beans of the outlaw. I love the way respectable men sneer and say 'outlaw.' I love the way young women palpitate and say 'outlaw.' The outlaw boat sails against the flow, and I love it. Outlaws toilet where badgers toilet, and I love it. All outlaws are photogenic, and I love that. 'When freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will be free': that's a graffito seen in Anacortes, and I love that. There are outlaw maps that lead to outlaw treasures, and I love those maps especially. Unwilling to wait for mankind to improve, the outlaw lives as if that day were here, and I love that most of all. "Victim? Your letter reminded the Woodpecker that he is a Woodpecker blessed. Your sympathies for my loneliness, tension, and disturbing fluctuations in indentity have some basis in fact and are humbly appreciated. But do not be misled. I am the happiest man in America. In my bartender's pockets I still carry, out of habit, wooden matches. As long as there are matches, there will be fuses. As long as there are fuses, no walls are safe. As long as every wall is threatened, the world can happen. Outlaws are can openers in the supermarket of life." cheers, Jess
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

Tom Robbins Told me to Duck the Nonsense and see the After Math

for the beauty that it is the Red Head Anthum the fuse is in their hair the outlaw joke the difference between outlaes and in laws? outlaws are wanted. the photogenic out law (because they do not flinch for a flash of a camera their gaze is true Boony and Clyde the most photo documented americian outlaw Outlaw for what for what they where at there time what makes an outlaw what would make a meal for society who boils water to add what? to stew outlaws and scare the masses that only always seem to somehow cheer the outllaws legacy. Weird as it is it is.
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

A great metaphor and one

A great metaphor and one that I've often used myself in regards to drowning in my own depression. I need some help here, Jess. "Swum" - the past participle of "swim" - it's always been a weakness of mine, but I've been trying to find the correct usage of the damned word since I read this poem. I'm 'almost' positive that "You swam" should take the place of "You swum," but wouldn't stake my life on that. The second line seems off to me (I'm such a pain in the ass, sorry) - I would think, "Gotten violated by a wild wave" Poems like this take me back to darker days. I hope you have much more light in your future, friend. Always, Ronda
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years ago

swom, swam, swum, swim,

I smell the blood of a poet's whim... never mind. I really don't know myself which is correct. I made those changes, and some extras. Now wondering if the change in tense works. cheers, Jess
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

Well hell, no wonder

Well hell, no wonder you're confused about the tense now. I didn't want you to change the entired damned thing! "Have you ever surfed in violent ocean? Been violated by a wild wave? Held under struggling, swimming for the surface amidst the turmoil. swimming to the surface with your breath expiring then found sand. You swam the wrong way. But you are alive. We make it back, just barely. But back Still here Not sure why. There is no god, only life." I'm going to dream about the backstroke tonight. My best, Ronda
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

Hey Jess

Smiles:) Barbara Yeah for evolution, Violent waves, I like reading, it was a really good surfer experience beautifully written, though I never want to experience in real life. It being a metaphor for depression I cannot see the connection, to hear surfer talk, they don't sound depress, when they talk of the experience. Not saying they are not depression, but the poem don't sound like depression to me. Have a suggestion in the last stanza we barely make it back but back still here not sure why. there is no god only life There is no god, don't see how it fit with the flow of the poem, actually stop the flow for me. Just a suggestions, otherwise another great write.