Push and Pull Why Am I Here

Life has to  kill me...

I have tried to help before

gave it plenty of oppertunity

even made a few half ass plans

 (I am rather embarrassed by those)

still how do I laugh

Then there was the threat

 of unseen trials

considered the record

would it be worth it

to quite or jump off

the space rock earth

sure it had its moments

sometimes worse descends

to bearable or even content

so when I ask myself

straight to the face directly

do you want to die?Really?

would it matter to you

if I just answered simply

"Life will have to kill me"

and until then

I guess we will just

have to see what life wants of me