IKnowNoBox

Nov 14, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

You Must Feel Terrible?

Pretend ....

there is no bother

no side effects

when really it hurts

oh it hurts....

try to keep an encouraging face

then they make eye contact with you

in a moment of weakness

vulnerable to awkwardness

the lump won't budge

the words rehearsed fail to release

those words of team spirit

"We're in this together"

only we are not

It is only you that is fading away

and I will be left here without you

so if I think get on with dying

I am only being selfish

....

I would never say that

but I feel it in the back of my mind

as I sit watching you get ate from the inside

fuck it's like a horror show

Why are you laughing this is

morbid your dieing and I am having a

hard time understanding why you are

Laughing

save your energy for the

strawberry poison

Your dying please let me act like it!

— IKnowNoBox, Nov 14, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

Critiques

Mark

18 years 6 months ago

Man my rhythm man and friend

his name was also David passed when he was only 38 and this is what I felt too. I think sometimes if you don't keep an attitude going through it you fall into dispair, while all around you feel out of place with sad feelings. I didn't know what the fuck to do so I just stayed quiet and accommodated as transportation. Thanks for this David. Truly, Mark

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

Thank you Mark

It seems to come down to the little things. Transportation,and daily routine the things we (the friends of terminally ill friends and family)take for granted.If i was dying I'de just need time on a computer...I thought about that as I have in the last 8 month found out 4 people I know have cancer... i've seen "tough guys"break and "little men"grow stronger.Reckless friends grow cautious and cautious people grow careless. When the fronteir is breached in cancer and HIV and the newwer aproaches grow to fruition(and I have seen the Horizon of cures and treatments)then there will be a pause and a nation will shed a tear for our lack of urgancy.Then there are those that have done the little things for friends and associates they will smile and hug their survivoirs. reverance for the dying is for after they are dead. regards, David

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

Watching a horror movie while my friend was undergoing

chemo he mentioned a movie/documentary on wards there are none but then there is a look at what truelly frightens us...I have an idea to put a vidio camera in the hands of children and adults undergoing chemo and rad treatments... Because i have felt moved and struck by the revalation of people that face death.I talked with a nurse and I asked how often do people ask her her opinion about their case? She said she has been wrong both times she thought somebody wasn't going to win the fight. I understood her very well. In ink, David

Quillsvein1

18 years 6 months ago

there

is such raw authenticity in this that it is, in some ways, quite terrifying. your fusion of fantasy horror, personal insecurity, and the real evils of nature (cancer), the walls of willful misunderstanding we put up against each other coupled with denial..ouch! this is an effectively brutal piece that actually scared me. good job.

IKnowNoBox

18 years 6 months ago

Thank You Quills

I have sat in with surviviors so far none have died. I have 4 people that are close and two on this site,with cancer .There is a veil that lowers when somebody has cancer or any terminal condition,for years I have felt this and being able to share it in an effective poem...well that is priceless...your comment has showed me that it is not just me.You really understand,we need more people like that on the frontline. Your friend, David