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weirdelf
weirdelf
Nov 14, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Thwarted by a fart

 

Got on the bus,
just one seat available,
he had wide thighs and thus
I had only half a seat.

But things got worse
he farted, bastard!
Then looked at me and sniffed loudly
passed the blame,
oh the shame!

What could I do?
Stand up and protest my innocence?
Amidst the foul stench
my claims would only entrench
my guilt.

He who smelt it
dealt it,
they say.

I kept my silence
and my breath
it slowly passed
but he never stopped sniffing his blame.
The craven fiend!

If I had more magic
I would curse him
to carry his stench
forever with him
thereby entrench
his guilt.

I left the bus with what dignity I could muster
but my soul is blackened by the injustice
well, somewhat grayed,
the unaccountability he betrayed
is a microcosm of this world.


— weirdelf, Nov 14, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

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Critiques

Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 6 months ago

to

take such a hilarious moment and transform it into a profound philosophical statement about responsibility is something. something indeed. i laughed like hell when i first read, laughed like hell the second time i read it, then had a solemn meditation on your last lines the THIRD time i read it: "but my soul is blackened by the injustice/well, somewhat grayed, the unaccountability he betrayed/is a microcosm of this world." damn straight. the flatulent bastard!
Sinbadthesailorman

Sinbadthesailorman

18 years 6 months ago

Makes me chukle

for those who weild the dasterly evil blame and yet are able to pass it on to another this is just a childhood game and is played by me with some of my closes friends who are feinds hehe he who smelt it delt so he gave himself away no blame should you have ever claimed
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

Thanks guys

your replies left me chuckling and vindicated. cheers, Jess
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

the bird is a kookaburra

the bird is a kookaburra the other is a dragon, two amongst my many friends mythical, real, and in between, including most of you, I suspect. What but a mythical creature or hybrid would engage in the world of poetry? cheers, Jess
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 6 months ago

LMAO

Thanks for making my day with this poem Jess. It's brilliant. Laughing too much to say more..Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 6 months ago

I think

You should leave it as it is. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
D

dbrock

18 years 6 months ago

…my opinion, for what’s

...my opinion, for what's it worth, leave the ending just as is...works for me! Glad girls don't fart..... ...we fluff, but only sometimes LOL donna
Mark

Mark

18 years 6 months ago

Laughing

ever have that problem in an elevator :-) Working in that last stanza makes this a perfect !
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years ago

I see that you decided to

I see that you decided to leave the ending as is, and I'm glad. Quillsvein said it better than I could (my brain is beginning to mush tonight). "breathe" - breath? The wish to curse him with eternal stench reminds me of a story in which a gypsy curses a fat man with one word, "Thinner." I read this more than once tonight. The divergence from humor to philosophy works, I think. Best, Ronda
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years ago

oh well spotted, madam,

if I ever overcome my publishing phobia, will you be my editor? I also added "more" before magic, I do have some but try to restrict it to white magic these days, and besides, it scans better, teehee cheers, Jess
T

Tink

17 years 7 months ago

lol

this one made me laugh. thought of my father, who when i was little, could clear a room and remain standing there giggling away - eyes watering, but giggling. my husband does this to me all the time - at a bar, in the store wherever and blames me - until the day i got him back!!!! thank you for a good laugh and good memories. well done.