The Dark Side of Paradise has been selected for publication @ Triond.com

The Dark Side of Paradise
Has been selected for publication @ Triond.com

http://authspot.com/poetry/the-dark-side-of-paradise/

A thought by Sinbad the Sailor Man

— Sinbadthesailorman, Nov 08, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: U.S. A. Indiana, Valparaiso, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Frost, Walt Whitman, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Carl Sandburg these I have read some And so Many More. I have no Favorite or any that I dislike. Whom I consider to be poets; of course there are many Dark and hateful souls, who would cry out and to I will lend an ear, but some. They just leave a awful taste in my heart that I can not bear to read twice. Let alone as many times I would do normally; as I must.

Critiques

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

As it stands

see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjALf12PAWc cheers, Jess

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

I could use some kind of note worthry comments on this poem.

I wasn't goin to put in my manual script but,I Did, any way. I've sent one to a publisher in Chicago but, dummy me forgot to make a record of where I sent it. And now I don't know who has it/ Duh! Well I still have no other access, except for the berrys box. It is so hard to get to right now Ugh! Plus many sites are resicted so I can't view the site as it stands, sorry! Thank you anyway. Donnie/Sinbad I am getting cloudier by the day, must go get some blood work, some things up again, hazey days will become lazy days,if I let them back in.

weirdelf

18 years 5 months ago

Can't say I understand the poem

Sorry I didn't give constructive feedback. I was obsessed at the time at the injustice done to Naomi Wolf in the so-called "land of the free", the darkest joke in the world. Again sorry, I do your poem an injustice. cheers, Jess

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

What is it you do not under stand

The Pink snow balls? They are a hostees cake that come out every year around Valintines Day. They are chocolate cream fill cakes, surrounded by pink color marshmellow cream, and topped with coconut shredding. The grape NeHi is a soda. The man is trying to share or recall images, by offering these things to her. Her favorites, knowing he has no abillity to stem off the pending death, of his half naked and dying wife.They are arriving at dusk and shall barely make the morning, as a matter of fact she does not. He buries her in the sand, marks the place with an aluminum piece of the wreckage. As to the men of war, I was trying to leave that to the reader, is it the Portuges Man of War? Or is it Men at War? I guess it did not make the grade. And the Rose is the wife. Deep purple and the split/ Rose /I was trying to imply "Death" as in a Black Rose, Did you know they are truely purple, or a dark blueish red. Would like to have some help on this poem. For clarity's sake if nothing esle. For I did summit it to be published. Still haven't herd anything. But I forgot to give my e-mail and my phone is off right now so will have to wait for a letter. Hopefully.

weirdelf

18 years 3 months ago

ok, i didn't get it at first 2 readings

and only got it after reading your reply. Sometimes what is so blaringly obvious to us as we write is obscure to the reader. It's a hard one. I think this needs some work. While being intense it sort of floats around. Look at how each image and idea contributes to the total effect, in order. I honestly can't be more constructive than that. Hope that helps and sorry for the naomi distraction, cheers, Jess

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 5 months ago

Yes I know I need to work on some of these yet.

I am so far behind this month, was out for a week with double walking flu.I have had a bad week driving,on my return, I got burned for $180.00 in fares,run offs, and no shows. I went 40 miles for one lady, who didn't bother to tell the dispatcher she had no money. So March and the end of Feb. was a trying time money wise. I am getting burnt out driving six days a week 12 hrs a day and not making any money. But with my health failings and back problems, there is not much else for me to do around here, and I don't want to be to far away from my kids. Thanks Jess Donnie/ Sinbad

NEW ERA

17 years 2 months ago

What a story

I really enjoyed your story and liked the title I thought was fitting. Even your pen name fits the poem. Thought it very creative in the visual. Sincerely, Cathy

Sinbadthesailorman

17 years 1 month ago

Thank Oh so much this poem

Has been worked on and re-worked quite a bit. This is what I've always pitcured in my head but, it took so time to make it clearer to others still working on it now and again. Donnie/Sinbad was much much shorter but, lacked way to much detail I guess?

Sinbadthesailorman

16 years 2 months ago

Wow !

I just Found and read the revisions of this piece From what I first Had to what it is Now I never paid attenion to this section of the Site before. It is a Great Feature For shure I will be using it More from now own. I didn't think you guys kept them all, But I never realy have Checked out all the features you do have Maybe you should think of making a tour video clip of all the features and benifits of this site. I never had as much time as I do now Computer time I mean too checkit all out I still don't have tons of Time I am always doing somthing Donnie/Sinbad the Sailor Man