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Venus

Venus

For two days
on chilly mornings I
saw this

       *

 

       O

 

Above me,

off to my east

the moon

capped by Venus

bright and terrifying

and

lovely,

she.

She crushes,

she is named

named for love and

she swelters,

is foreboding

she

is a mystery

is

mountains and valleys

and molten steel

shrouded.

She

is inhospitable,

she hides behind a cloak,

a jacket.

She hovers

north of the moon

with Mars,

a barely red speck,

and Saturn

in the early morning sky.

Tommorow

I will sneak my telescope out

in the frigid morning air

I will

speak again to Venus

but she

she will not answer

she

is silent.

 

Mark Wilson

— Conect11, Nov 06, 2007

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Critiques

D

dbrock

18 years 7 months ago

WOW…AMAZING Love the

WOW...AMAZING Love the breaks...I need to learn that!!! So impressive! Enjoyed ! peace, donna
S

sevenchild

18 years 7 months ago

I dont care

if u like me or not but i am not biased and loved this piece of lovely work. I really like the silent and calm visuals here with a touch of winter sounds gracing the edges. GREAT POEM LOVED IT AND THE READ!!! ***Lovely am I*** Valene
C

Conect11

18 years 7 months ago

well thanks!

and glad you prefaced your comment that way. For the record I don't dislike you. Thanks for the constructive feedback! Mark W.
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 7 months ago

I've Gotta Admit ...

you do wonders with one or two or three words on a line. Your verse, she is well paced, well spaced. And quite knowledgeably---and chastely---straitlaced. It all makes for an easy read ... and a pleasure to follow ... and understand. Yours, Chuck PS: Not to mention herein your cleverly illustrative use of the computer keyboard.
C

Conect11

18 years 7 months ago

thanks Chuck!

And may I ask what tasty beverage is in your hand in the picture? Mark W.
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 7 months ago

Not So Tasty

My own mixed brew of healthful yet bitter-tasting tea is in the cup. That's nut-eating Bongo the Squirrel in the lap. Chuck