Trashy

Like college,
or the kids I went there with
at night,
punks
one
two
three
my hat
was gone
taken right off my head
I thought
it was important.
Ten years later
here I am
not yet
drunk
just
acting irresponsible
like a selfish college kid
trashy,
jello shots
a daze
a haze
I see
flesh
I see
the worst parts of it
I see
the surface,
scratch
is anything underneath?
Me?
I see sadness
when I look
abandonment
again
fear
guised as anger
guised as
posturing.
Twelve ounces
poison
a full pint
death
after three or four
four more
barely home
I am
trashy
fine line
'tween this and me.