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M

The Treasure Room

I know a location

Of such fascinaton

And joyous wonders galore

 

New worlds will unfold

With adventures untold

Of great heroes from days of yore

 

Fierce trolls rule mountains

With magical fountains

And beautiful unicorns prance

 

Some brave, shining knights

Get in terrible fights

In the castle an elegant dance

 

I can witness great acts

And learn all the facts

So things that once scared me aren't scary

 

I get all this and more

When I walk through the door

Of the place that they call the library

— marcm, Nov 06, 2007

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purplemoondoll

18 years 7 months ago

Great rhythm

and flow to this poem until the last verse when it stalls a bit. That last line it just seems a bit off beat to the others. I am not sure how you could improve it though as this is essentially the punchline/twist. See what you think! BUT I like the theme and the idea of escaping to all these worlds and images from the written word. Nice work. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
M

marcm

18 years 7 months ago

I agree with you about the

I agree with you about the last verse, especially the last line. But I've never been able to solve it. Maybe something that works a little better will come some day. Marc
Julie50

Julie50

18 years 7 months ago

The title caught my eye

I liked the title that's what caught my attention! You said you had a problem with the end. I think you should put the title at the end! Referring to the Treasure, it would help it all make more sense!Instead of library.? Just an opinion! Julie