cricket

Oct 30, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Said the Lamb

Said the lamb to the sheep,
Why is it that you weep?
Is it away from the wolf you seek?

Come unto me and find retreat,
For my sheep you will not be his treat,
Together this wolf we can defeat.

Be always leary as the wolf will manipulate,
And fear within you he'll try too create,
So that in your confusion you might hesitate.

If lured by the wolf you'll find a terrible fate,
Follow me my sheep before it's too late,
Hold unto me and you'll not be his bait.

For you my sheep I shall wait,
Within my gate,
You shall be safe.

— cricket, Oct 30, 2007

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Critiques

dbrock

18 years 7 months ago

Very Inspirational

Very Inspirational Reading...Enjoyed! Blessings, dbrock

cricket

18 years 7 months ago

thank you

thankyou for your wonderful comment. glad you enjoyed.

HiFlyGuy

18 years 7 months ago

.

HiFlyGuy

18 years 7 months ago

Soft and warm...

Hi Cricket, Just read your poem. A message of youth leading/guiding/advising the ovis aries to safety? What a concept of early maturity. And the wolf. He'd gladly take either...but what ominus being is in your eye as the wolf I do ponder. I enjoyed it, thank you. Just a note: I think you might mean "...too late,"

cricket

18 years 7 months ago

hiflyguy

I don't know if I'm doing this comment thing right where you are getting it and not me.lol but I want to thank you for your wonderful comments ,you really got what the poem is about.ty. glad you enjoyed.

IKnowNoBox

18 years 7 months ago

Felt like flock

fleeing off through the fence, and through forest to freedom.The title Said the Lamb works into the poem makes it like a fable(something I have not read for awhile)I can tell you had a laugh writing this poem.. I will stay tuned to this channel. In crayon, I Know No Flocks

cricket

18 years 7 months ago

thanks for the great

comments. glad you liked it. and I hope to read more of your poems also.

weirdelf

18 years 7 months ago

Bullshit

I am often cheerfully wrong but this just struck me as allegory for Jesus and his flock. the wolf would eat them all, cheers, Jess

cricket

18 years 6 months ago

I don't think so...

I don't know why you have a problem with God and or Jesus.. but thats your problem... I'd really appreciate it you don't like my poem then don't comment.. really... this was written for my kids.. and they believe in God/ Jesus... and usually that word u used isn't one I'd like to see. ... I write inspirational poems ,,, and this is one of them.. if u don't like it.. please just move on to one u do like... ty. oh and No the wolf wouldn't eat them all... not everyone is alike so there are those that will follow on the right path... cricket

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

I’m sorry if I offended, I

I'm sorry if I offended, I do find the assumption many Christians make that their beliefs are universal and unquestionable offensive myself. I will try to confine my criticism to matters of poetry, which here I honestly feel suffers from the grammatic inversions you use to force rhyme and rhythm. Sounds a bit like Yoda. cheers, Jess

cricket

18 years 6 months ago

not offended...

Just that its a poem... nothing to do with christianity at all... a poem written for my children... as far as forced rhyme and rhythm.. thats your opinion and I'm ok with that... have had many good reviews and only one that wasn't.. so I think that is pretty good... and this one has won some contest also.. so has to be something that is liked about it..but ty. for your opinion once again... I do appreciate it.. cricket

weirdelf

18 years 6 months ago

Thank you for your genousity in accepting my criticism

I congratulate you on the praise you have received and the contest win. If you stick around here you will find I often criticise harshly, but I think that is necessary to make us better poets. I accept criticism willingly and I admire you for not replying to my crit with an attack, with respect, Jess

drachm

18 years ago

Indeed the wolves are ate the gate!

I think your poem is very inspirational and just the right thing for children. Constructive criticism is always welcomed but not mixed with political and attacks on one's personal religious views. Drachm

cricket

18 years ago

ty. for your comments Drachm

and I'm glad you think that it is a good poem for children.. yes constructive criticism is welcome anytime..but not attacks on ones belief.. as was done above by weird elf ..and I'm sorry if it seems I was attacking back to him.. just that it was kept going and it upset me to the point that I had to say something. again appreciate your kind words on this poem.. I had fun doing it.. but now I'm afraid to do anymore like this one thanks ..BrownEyesBlue

drachm

18 years ago

B.E.Y.

How do you stop a dove from cooing or a wren from singing? Never! Drachm

hugo la rosa

16 years 10 months ago

Cricket

All things in this world have opposites; the problem might not be so easy as it seems, but problems with the wolf is always had with those who argue with results. Not just with you or with just another sheep.