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wolfycat
wolfycat
Oct 14, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fall Haiku 2

Lazy rust leaves fall

Grey squirrel watches them fly

Dancing in the air

 

Wolfy.

10/14/07

— wolfycat, Oct 14, 2007

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

Mark

Mark

18 years 7 months ago

Hey Wolfy try red or brown or even green

I like this haiku it is real nice Wolfy but there is one too many syllables in the first line. There are 6 should be 5 for a traditional haiku which this really is. Hopefully helpful - maybe not, Mark
wolfycat

wolfycat

18 years 7 months ago

You are so correct!

I should have used the word "Rust" instead of orange. Thanks so much for pointing this out. I will edit this right away. Best Wishes, Wolfy.
wolfycat

wolfycat

18 years 7 months ago

Such decision!!

Maybe red is better. Thanks so much for pointing out my syllabic mishap. Wolfy.
Mark

Mark

18 years 7 months ago

Nice Nice rust works great!

You know I thought it (orange) might be accent or dialect so I had to look it up myself. Nice piece :-) Mark