sin for favors - a Tanka

Do not speak to me

of punishment or reward

that is not my God

who wreaks havoc with our souls

my faith does not rest in fear.

— RSScheerer, Oct 10, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Near Springfield, Illinois, USA

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Merrit Malloy

Critiques

IKnowNoBox

18 years 8 months ago

My first Tanka

5,7,5,7,7? when I picture a god I think,why do they limit the scope of presence,maybe it is because they are afraid of any idea bigger then they imagine. Bit size gods. Look forward to more Rss. in ink, IKnowNoBox

RSScheerer

18 years 8 months ago

5, 7, 5, 7, 7

You got it, that's Tanka structure. Whenever I start feeling the wrath of writer's block, I write structured pieces like Tanka, Nonet, Haiku, and Senryu. Seems to help break the dam for some reason.

Ink Dragon

18 years 8 months ago

This one is great

Not only did you get the required syllables dead right, but I am also completely with you in feeling that way about God and religion! Congrats on your perfect tanka! ID

weirdelf

18 years 8 months ago

Totally with you

in form, style and content. You might enjoy my piece "Killing god" I actually ran across your comments before your poetry and really appreciated their intelligence, thoughtfulness and constructiveness. Now I can see where they come from. You are so welcome to NeoPoet, you are exactly the sort of member that makes this site work so well. I hope you hang around, and if you do, please consider volunteering for Advocates status. cheers, Jess

RSScheerer

18 years 8 months ago

I'm honored

Thank you, Jess. I'm very honored by your compliments and your suggestion of volunteering for Advocate status. Since I'm still familiarizing myself with the site, I will take some time and then consider your suggestion. Thank you again, Ronda

purplemoondoll

18 years 8 months ago

Awesome

I really like the passion you have injected into so few lines. It's a powerful, well written and well structured piece of writing. Your message is one I can relate to and applaud. Well done and welcome to Neopoet. I really look forward to seeing more of your work. Kaz x It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

Marius Surleac

17 years 11 months ago

Das ist gut Tanka. The style

Das ist gut Tanka. The style 5-7-5-7-7 well used with kami-no-ku and shimo-no-ku. The image provoked is not as a Tanka usually should but it is ok, the deep message though beat anything, the inner soul state great. Best wishes, Marius

RSScheerer

17 years 11 months ago

thanks, Marius

When I find myself struggling for words, structured poetry seems to help. I appreciate you reading and commenting. Best, Ronda