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The poet´s turmoil No.365 (A tribute to Anne Clark)

When I take flight from the dark in which we live the night,
trying to find a way to navigate my rise towards a stark light,
I escape nightmares and glimpse the glow of a far fire.
And, drawing near, I observe the red white hot building of a pyre.

The elves with apt and dire skill and might create a star.

I have come a long way, now my wings begin to mar
my soaring homewards, and I feel the tendency to cry
as I fall down fast, earthbound. Solid ground refuses to ply
the magic I need to go on without my own neglect.

Tumbling, stumbling, I discern: It continues to affect
the primal feeling of power I once had. I scarred my wing.

Mourning, raging in my turmoil I still want to try and sing.

 

 

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RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 7 months ago

I fly into the dark and away from the light

This piece contains some truly fantastic imagery. You know me, though...I find my strength where the darkest corners lie. The fight to survive here is strong and bold. Your theme was concise, good word usage, you told a story and concluded it well, and I found the internal logic consistent and true. love, Ronda
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Ink Dragon

18 years 7 months ago

Actually

I am a night owl, too. I needed it this way around to make my theme work...Thanks for answering my questions! I am glad the poem seems to work the way it should! My intention here was that poets and other people whose imagination takes them into other worlds occasionally are encouraged by this piece. Love, ID
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barbsdad2003

18 years 6 months ago

A Perhaps Less Relevant Observation:

How marvelous that at times the darkness reveals more to our eyes than (apparently) the opposite lightness. If we let it. At least there, unless a roiling mind interposes to supply them, there is apt to lie fewer sight distractions. Thanx, Chuck
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

17 years 1 month ago

Do you need ‘A’ stark

Do you need 'A' stark light, just stark light would do. This line puzzles me: "The elves with apt and dire skill and might create a star." both halves are nice but do they fit? "the magic I need to go on without my own neglect." ignoring my own neglect.(slightly ambiguous)..or? The rhythm is a little.... There I pushed a button nr. 88 and got this poem of yours. One could spend a year of days to find all on this site!!! Dear Nina from Ann
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Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Dear Ann,

the rhythm is the original Anne Clark rhythm. I took one of her songs and stuck with her syllable count and rhythm throughout this piece, so, yes, I need the "A" for my syllable count.(Unless you can provide me with another monosyllabic word for that line...?) "The elves, with apt and dire skill and might, create a star" does that read better than my commaless version? Well done, you, on spotting the ambiguity! I love ambiguity, so I´ll leave that line alone, I think. And you´re right! One could probably spend more than a year if one got it into one´s head to read all the entries on Neopoet!!! I am ever so happy that you decided to read this old piece! Thanks, ~Nina
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

17 years 1 month ago

How I agree with you Nina

Yes I agree with all you have said, and understand as its a song-rhythm one can get into difficulties when a song is read instead of being sung, can't one. yes the comma helped me understand that line better. My sister gave me a son she wrote to put in the book of my families poetry and it doesn't read so well without the music! We speak of rhythm and there are so many variations in the world, just like the variety of keys for the music, in Iranian song the notes are so differently placed from our normal keys, creating a fascinating other-ness for us to hear. Magic lullabies to their children can mesmerise us. Glad you were happy, that's the way to be, yours from Ann