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Calliope
Oct 11, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Death of Spring

 

deepening night,

cold day,

summer’s gone,

winter’s grey,

soft pillars of earth,

now frozen snow,

the trees have told,

the leaves to go,

"what now?"

I ask,

of the last ,

of man,

"my love is lost ,

by my enemys’ hand,

redemption is far,

far from my sight,

yet ,vengeance,

will make,

my heart feel light,

what say you,

do you stand with me,

or cower here and wait for pity,

pity that will never come,

so I’ll take my revenge,

and have it done,

I will avenge the love,

I lost in spring,

and embrace the peace,

my vengeance will bring."

About This Poem

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Region, Country: New York, USA

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purplemoondoll

18 years 7 months ago

Yes I like this

Powerful and full of emotion. There is some great imagery here too. I like the idea of the trees telling the leaves to go. Watch your spacing in places. It doesn't detract from the poem but you may want to look at that. Strong and defiant ending. Nice work. Kaz x It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
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waterdragon

18 years 6 months ago

This is quite

powerful in places! Is your uneven scansion in places, intentional? I like the dichotomy of finding peace as a result of an act of violence. Like the imagery, too! Good job... Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!
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gumpymonkey

18 years 1 month ago

thus spoke calliope

I see that you have described a bit about the pillars of earth and one can assume you like trees, but the poem never gives a hint as to why Spring is your lover. It does not have a line or two that really sell me on your relationship. Yes, the fact that you want vengeance as a result of your loss tells one side of the story, but where is the imagery that speaks of your lust, love, and life with Spring? What are you fighting for??? Also, there is no mention of the way your lover (spring) will cycle again to you next year...perhaps slaying winter for you in the process. While I agree that cycling seasons is a trite platform on which to write, and that you have gone above and beyond this theme, it may be wise to at least show you understood this truth. Do not get me wrong though. I am intrigued by your theme. I just want to hear more about the romance if you are asking me (your fellow man) to band together against winter with you. Daniel
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Calliope

18 years ago

Thank you daniel

I will certainly take that into consideration.I appreciate your comments and honesty.Thanks,i'm not finished with this one yet. Lacy, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
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Calliope

17 years 7 months ago

Thank you

this was written years ago ,Scared to mess with it,might screw it it up,lol, Where power corrupts,poetry cleanses.
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orgami

17 years 2 months ago

Rise to action

still enjoy this poem all this time later and now even more that I am getting to know the poetess better Hamarubi was a king of long ago who wrote this code on this iron pillar it still stands and is famous but basically said "Eye for an eye" thats if an eye surgeon of the day messed up and blinded a patient then the said doctor too would be blinded by the authority which was basically the king He had a whole other totalitarian idealism but it was pretty evocative for me in High school when I heard about him Like the city of Persopolis that Alexander finally totalled well it was good as it lasted!! heh heh great poem still Calliope