Replaced

Sorry to hear this Paul. I know it's been a long time. I admire the writing in the moment as sad as is and the title relative to the interior logic is someting I try to do but always have the most difficult time. Talk soon Man. Go out with your buddies and find a brothel - come morning you won't remember her as much or such ;-) Mark

Hi Paul I am very sorry that this person hurt you so deeply, i can feel just how deeply, when ever i read through this. A word of advice from a woman who has in the past waited for a love that had moved on and had given up on the possiblity of having any feelings toward me, let her go. It is hard, darn hard I know this, but try for your own sake or alternatively follow the above mentiond advise as per Mark!! *grins* Thank you for sharing your pain with us. kind regards Feebie Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)

to find oneself ... where present and future seem so bleak. Kudos on the feelings expressed so well through a veiled and filtered sense. Regards, Chuck PS: Although I ought to add that I think the piece does need some technical fixings. For one example, improvements in meter. The beat is mixed. As in "She took my heart and alone I did remain": The syllabic accents are took, heart, lone, did, main. They're divided by unaccents She, my, and-a, I, re. Note the doubled and-a. It breaks up the meter, the rhythm, the beat. I think if you were to make that line, to accommodate the simplest change, "She took my heart and lone I did remain," it thus purifies that beat by making the doubled unaccent a single. Lone is a synonym for alone, so I think it works fine here. Altho you may prefer another substitute. For instance, "sole" might be a valid substitute in this context. Whatever. As usual, if my advice seems unhelpful to you, just throw it out. Note that I haven't here claimed in an objective way that my advisory has the slightest merit. Thanx, Chuck

on our life,the very act of exhaling refreshes us to go at Life again. Thing not your sorrow as you breath in again anew. A poetic reminder,that we are prone to abandonement. In ink, David