Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

J
JulieMcCarty
Sep 29, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I love you from afar

 

 

I

Lead

our dance

vivaciously in my mind

everyone is watching

you hold me close

our bodies melt together

under the glow of the candles

firelight

round and round we dance

our love grows stronger

my heart

awaits  

for

another

round

About This Poem

About the Author

More from this author

Comments

I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 7 months ago

Oh I so feel this .....

My Hole-in -the-box Award to you Julie the Brave ,I felt as if I was on the dance floor .what style use and .....Acrostics become you. From afar,whew.To use far away, when yet you dance,says so much. I am in awe! In ink, David
O

OUTSPOKEN

18 years 7 months ago

I think that this one is

I think that this one is full of cliches/is uninteresting and predictable. A fantasy about a dance. What is this-- a Disney movie?
J

JulieMcCarty

18 years 7 months ago

Well

This is my first one, sorry if you don't like it. Can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. :(
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 7 months ago

OUT SPOKEN you have to yell! Without a clue ,without a vision

If you do not know this stle,then stop your worthless spewings Funny you should mention Disney Land in relation to fantasy that is a fine example of a cliche.so get your pen out of your Derriere and write an epic ode' to the cloud your nose is in.If it be good I will praise it.If It be turd I will flush it. You are a foul wind on this site!
J

JulieMcCarty

18 years 7 months ago

wow

Box to the rescue! Thanks sweety! :) Julie
J

Jillian Botha

18 years 6 months ago

Hmmmm, at least we are contributing......

Hi Outspoken Though we do welcome feedback on the work we post here we would like to have the favour returned. I personally enjoyed this one, and feel that Julie is incredibly brave as a writer to break away from her usual style to attempt something to new. GOOD ON YOU JULIE!!!! the same however cannot be said for you now can it??? we do not know what medium you choose to write about or anything about your style. So in my humble opinion Outspoken please post something for us to peruse, and THEN feel free to critque the many talented writers on this site. kind regards Feebie Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)
T

tee4eva921

18 years 7 months ago

Romantic

I can pictue it thats wat i like ... very romantic as well latesha
Frost Smith

Frost Smith

18 years 7 months ago

Julie...

Good first effort at this type of poem Julie; Consistent theme, and it didn't seemed forced; which is a problem when sticking to a sturctured format. Keep writng & posting Frost
J

Jillian Botha

18 years 6 months ago

Different to your others true....

Hi Julie This may be different to your others, but it works!!! i loved it as much as i do all your other work. You should stick with this, you definitley have an affinity for this style to....... Thank you for this lovely read!!! Kind regards Feebie Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)
J

JulieMcCarty

18 years 6 months ago

Thank you

Feebie, I am glad you liked this. I have never seen a poem like this until IKnowNoBox introduced me to it. I found it to be fascinating and have been experimenting with it since. I have written a few others now and I am really starting to enjoy coming up with new ideas. Thnaks again for your compliment :)