city air

Your Phrase poet!!!!!!!!!I Toast!!!!! a peek at whats to come from your Quill. In ink, Dabbler

could be honed still i think but a good grasp yes i can relate and gather it in ..O..

This is a very evocative, haunting little piece! Immediately brings to mind the horrific, fascinating visage of Medusa, what with the hair twisting like snakes and the wrinkled transits of shadow in which (your) face moves. I like this quite a lot. On a different note, this poem leaves me feeling I have just read the outline, the sketch, of a much richer, much more dimensional poem.... What do you think? Reverend Bec Hudson Shine Your Light It's the ONLY Way to Get Rid of the Darkness!

"wrinkled transits of shadow" is just bloody lovely. And that near sinister ending, drama as well! sorry, got nothing to crit here, honestly. cheers, Jess

I see nothing to improve here. Sorry, you're just that good. ;) I'll keep reading, though. ~ Ronda

as I look back on this poem and my previous comment...now with a refreshed view I find that the title brings this poem subtle like a hidden draft.

okay its late but i found this new thing read new poems or something something i may have missed the chats i stay away from im just not that that social writing is different anyway i read this over again and i take back my earlier comment on it Only because im finding a new abstract in me im being ahh not sure whats happening actually but leave the poem the way it is Its a very poets poet poem i think yes i love it thank you that is all O

this is such a good piece of writing.. loved the ending, and the title...makes one look at the air again...