It Was A SMASHING

sounds like some rennovating going on - can I help?

but I would have liked it more if it ended with "transmit" or if you placed "again" after "never"...it still has a certain musicality though...:) " in the end, we will only just remember how it feels..."

I stumbled ever-so-slightly over the second line, then the hammer swung wildly and bits fell about me in exuberant joy. I think maybe just a comma or a line-break after the word garage.

Smashing - pardon the pun ;-) I agree those last lines need a little work but this made me smile - thanks its been a tough day :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

sounds like someone is pissed at his computer or TV to me; I suggest: "from firewall to firewall" for the second line Good too see you Frost

I really liked the second line!! Although I was reading this with the rhythm of a ballad in mind. Obviously I missed out that first comma for that flow, but I liked it, and I think it fitted the theme. It's just an idea, give it some jaunt! I have an idea for the changes I'd propose so PM me if you want to hear them, I won't rewrite your poetry in a comment :P Kieran "Mind, how you go!" - Roger McGough's poem for LSD Awareness Week

Not at you or your poem but I saw someone do just this wow what a mess it left and that is what they call venting nice writing Chrys

this has the makings of genius. I have done the same, not to my garage, to my bedroom. But it does need work. Just a tad more, to create the frame of mind, cheers, Jess

when I have an idea but then lose it. It is the scratchings on paper that I cannot find. It is when I lost it and lose it. It is my computer sticking half way into the wall and it just gets better every time I come here. Mark