Talk to God

Always wear your smile

and stop to smell the flowers,

live life by the minute

or at least live by the hours.

Try your level best to do

the challenges you face,

don’t talk down to others

for scolding’s not your place,

A pleasant disposition

shows others that you care,

who knows, you might rub off on them

then that trait wouldn’t be so rare.

But save some time for you, alone

treating yourself right isn’t that odd,

do all you can to keep the peace

and don’t forget to talk to God.

— docmaverick, Sep 15, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

Critiques

Westley

18 years 8 months ago

I like verses 1 and 3. But I

I like verses 1 and 3. But I feel that the reference to God is a little cliched and adds nothing to the sentiment of the poem. It would have more impact, in my opinion, if you stuck to the theme of verses 1 and 3 and avoid the speculation. Otherwise, I would try to work the God reference in earlier as at the moment it reads as an after thought.

Conect11

18 years 8 months ago

agree

with Westley here that you should have worked God in earlier. As of now He looks like an afterthought. As for the mechanics of the poem I wouldn't have a problem with the rhyme scheme, at times you have good flow going, but then it gets REALLY super clunky in spots, like the last line of the third stanza. The word "would'nt" just really breaks the rhythm up dramatically. It looks like you need a single - syllable word there in place of it. JMO Mark W.