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E. H.

behold the man

or not, stooped
between the fingered membranes
of a sprinkler gone awry,
his undigested tears
sizzling on
hot pavement, washed
from their proper place
as they should be?

behold the man.

an immortal contingent
belonging to no date or time
save the
grinding gasp of the
bus stop, 6:00 sharp
as his heartbeat, a
frozen pin drop
falling faster each
dizzy morning.

behold the man.

nursed in shadows, searching
the slick pinwheel of his
lost memories
in yearbooks
of different grades,
in different languages,
dimly recalled faces
colored differently
somehow made strange.

behold the man.

a huddled mass in an
office cubicle,
under an army tent
weighed down with the
products of his
own confusion,
asleep on a street
corner, a few discolored
quarters carrying him
on his way somewhere,

trying to find a mirror
clear enough
so he might
clearly,
for once
behold himself

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C

Conect11

18 years 7 months ago

as always

you paint these vividly beautiful melancholic word pictures. I think the opening sentence structure is a tad clunky, from the start of the poem down to "as they should be?" That minor quibble aside, this is masterful poetry, the kind of beauty I always expect from you, quills. Mark W.
S

Spirit Song

18 years 7 months ago

WOW!!!

Aloha Quills, This is my first reading of your poetry. As I shared with you in my reply to your review... you will excell!!! You deliver with a depth of soul. You don't straight out tell but convey with heart as the observer looking in. Your character may be disconnected... I can see you are totally tuned in. Your write is Poetry at its best! Blessings from Hawaii, Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 7 months ago

I love

the chorused "behold the man," with end line---so in kind but different---"behold himself." Though not well versed to judge free verse structure(s), I deem this piece masterful. Thanx, Chuck PS: Sorry for shading my second-paragraph kudo with a qualifier, but my behavior in this instance does remind me of something beside the point: I usually get a good laugh when I preface a compliment by something like: "I'm a poor judge of good looks, but I think you're pretty."
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 7 months ago

As often

your work troubles me. I love and appreciate your elegant use of the language, your deep imagery and allegory. everything adds up to great poetry. But it is not putting a hook in my heart. It must be me. Jess
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 7 months ago

just read all the other comments

and the problem is mine, not yours. Low serotonin state at the moment and too many other hooks in my heart. Exquisite poetry. cheers, Jess
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 7 months ago

Oh man, I finally got it!

I feel so stupid sometimes. The key to the whole poem for me is line two "or not" the seen and the not seen. It may be just my stupidity that I have to work at your poems, but I know it is always worth it. Overtones of the Beatles "Eleanor Rigby" You see and feel and care, as few dare. And if others don't see us how can we see ourselves? Profound, beautiful and eloquently stated. cheers, Jess