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T

Cloaked Delusions

 
Evermore trajectory remains unclear.
Lucid thoughts evade delirium sets in.
Stumbling throughout trampling fate.
Attempting to rouse reveries illusion.
Tirelessly obstructions eclipse the truth.
Ambiguous deceit thrives naivety restricts.
Mollifying euphoria stamps out confusion.
 

— Tuttey, Sep 10, 2007

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Country/Region: USA

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C

Conect11

18 years 9 months ago

when I

added some instinctual line breaks in this flowed just fine for me. I like your stream of concience style, though I think some pauses, punctuation in the body of your lines could benefit you greatly. I think your first line actually says it all in regards to this piece. A fine effort that I feel needs just a bit of touching up. Mark