Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Symphony - Unfinished

not complete, been stuck with it for about a week.     Symphony   It gets dark here faster, in the rural skies over Wellington, Ohio. It gets dark here and these young woods come alive. There’s a symphony that starts every night at dusk as the human sounds diminish, it’s natural poetry. Every cricket is predator, and every one is prey. This is real beauty: A great horned owl. In the middle of the night it became bitterly cold in our tent, and the night’s music stopped, no rhapsody. And so, like woodsmen my son and I collected firewood - the trash of dead trees and built a suitable fire. In the early morning dark we ate pancakes cooked over open flame. Most of our meals here are of the high carbohydrate variety. Bread and potatoes and protein from meat, for energy.
— Conect11, Sep 10, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

More from this author

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 9 months ago

Oh mate, my smile here is poignant and sad.

I have made a conscious choice not to bring children into this world, but I know I have missed something beautiful and grand. I feel the ending was a bit... lame? Sorry, it just seemed so mundane after all the poetic imagery before. Or was that your intention? cheers, Jess
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 9 months ago

I just started to go there.

I was a bit put off by the ending which would't work at all without the great transition.The story is cut out well.The title? in ink, Iknow...
C

Conect11

18 years 9 months ago

totally agree

hence why I have been stuck on this poem for a week. And unfortunately once I put a poem down it is nearly impossible for me to pick back up again. Mark W.
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 8 months ago

I have that problem big time

even when I submitted a poem recently begging for constructive feedback I have been unable to go back and work on the excellent suggestions I received, cheers, Jess
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 9 months ago

you

could make an annorexic obese. you write with your appetite, my friend. your portrayal of that crisp, natural joy in getting away with your son into nature inspires me and makes me jealous; the city has polluted by appreciation for nature. and yet when i read this a little bit of it came back. nice job.