An Hell in a concrete jungle

A hell in a concrete jungle

We have already turned as animals and

we lost our sixth sense for the stomach

Filling the stomachs and running back to currencies

have taken our days and years

Love has turned as nasty lust on roads and

romance has lost it’s purity

Violence encroaches everything of us

Peace that has lost it’s life and burried in the land of demons

God is help less .yes god is help less here

to help humen beings in this concrete jungle

Heavens have vanished and

this planet and people changed this as a hell

SakthiRavichandran

— SAKTHEEE2007, Sep 08, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

purplemoondoll

18 years 9 months ago

Like This

I applaud the message it brings and it's beautiful writing as always Sakkthee. The only thing I would suggest is that you check through it again as there are a couple of errors in the typing and grammar? Nothing major but I felt it should read 'A Hell' instead of 'An Hell' and you have a couple of typos with lines 9, 10 and 11. See what you think. I really enjoyed reading this. Kaz x

weirdelf

18 years 9 months ago

Sakkthee, dear friend

this poem saddened me, so much. Sometimes I have fealt like a cynical old bastard reading your joyous and deeply spiritual work. This time it fealt like something I might have written. Glad but sad you do acknowledge the deep injustices and evil in this world. with deep respect, Jess

SAKTHEEE2007

18 years 9 months ago

Dear Jess

It is a crown to my poem.It is my success. Dear Jess thanks to your open comments.Iam also trying to comment other's works.Not to mistake me I feel that Am i qualified to comment others works. so this is my hesitation cheers sakthee

weirdelf

18 years 9 months ago

Comment from your heart what you feeled and thought,

it would be much appreciated. Critisism can be difficult, but if something in a poem strikes you as wrong, or doesn't read well, it would show much more more love and courage to say so than to say "nice poem, thank you." cheers, Jess

IKnowNoBox

18 years 8 months ago

Written as a stern voice

with direct address to a hell of a mess and if we look to salutions now me may only slow our undoing,for the Quikening has begun,only Escape Artist step out of the Equation of Decay. 'Peace that has lost its life and been( burned/ buried) in the lands of demons' Works both ways as alluded.A snap of the poetic fingers may bring some to their senses. Thank you SAKKTHEE