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Q
Quillsvein1
Sep 08, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

found

if i were to really find you
not in some locked shrine
dated and beaten by the midnight wind
where brown bagged sillhouettes
look only for loose windows
or tarnished antiques, weightless
as the air people speak of you with.

if i were to really find you
beneath the Sunday bells
in the creaking sounds
of all that i am not
what i may become, with
chemistry of night streaming
politely through my veins.

if i were to really find you,
stuttering underneath a park bench
red eyed and with three teeth
would the pipe you slipped in my hand
fall through my palm
break apart, and fly together
into a black powdered angel?
eclipsing the damp sun, and the
meagre spots
the sons of cain call home.

if i were to really find you
it would not be in these books
people sign, and pass on like old currency
till their names grow meaningless
shelved and forgotten,
just like everything else
under the sun.

it would be in the wet hand of a
stranger, coming in out of the rain,
gripping me as i approach the door
asking

"don’t I know you"

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Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 8 months ago

Quill, you know I often find it hard to comment on your works

Part of it, I freely admit, is pure envy. Your ability to combine excellent prosody with compelling imagery and deep compassion makes me mad with jealousy! But I would not hate Dylan Thomas, Shakespeare or you for that. This poem transported me, unwillingly, to this person. I feel sure, can't tell why, you are talking about a woman, and I have met her. Does that make this a Romantic poem? (you know what I mean, not a love poem but in the spirit of the Romantics) cheers, Jess
C

Conect11

18 years 8 months ago

I find it

hard to believe sometimes that you are from New York. Now to my own glance that seems like such a strange statement, since some of the most tender, sincere, and loving people I know are from the five burroughs, but this is tender, this is living in a Claude Monet painting. Scratch that. There is a photo exhibition in the Cleveland Museum of Art, a picture is there from the mid nineteenth century by a photographer not at all famous, and thankfully so for his sake. I shall find it and remember this poem, this beautiful, evocative poem. To me, all colors are muted after reading this. Mark
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 8 months ago

thank

you all for your inspiring comments--to answer jess' question i have always, despite my best intentions otherwise, ended up being a romantic in the poetic sense. this is extends to my tastes in just about every artistic medium, and i have no clue why. not decadent romanticism (well, occasionally). but definitely romanticism in the tragic sense with some hope, Unamuno style. i am new york through and through, mark, but apparently there's been a misconception: i've lived in new york city for extensive periods of time throughout my life, but i'm originally from upstate. to IKnow, God has always been present in my poetry even when i was a total nihilist and avid reader of "Skeptic" magazine and Bertrand Russell. i wouldn't have it in me to give myself this much PR if you guys weren't so great and constructive with your responses. thank you!
S

Spirit Song

18 years 7 months ago

DEEP!

Your soul's voice speaks upon the page... I hear you. Quills I checked your Bio. age 24 ... so young and yet so insightful. You my friend are a POET! Blessings from Hawaii, Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 7 months ago

thank

you jerry, for your kind--and very energetic--reviews!
D

devoting

18 years 7 months ago

DEEP!!

I'M JEALOUS!BUT SERIOUSLY YOU KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR WORDS IN THE RIGHT CONTEXT.WHEN I READ UR POEM I FELT IT AND THATS A GOOD THING.GREAT WORK!!
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 2 months ago

found

I have found you through your syllables and the impression you have left upon so many before me. I would have to ask again, what can I possibly offer you? But I do realize the opportunity that could be offered between the two of us collaborating. I fear it may be a case of me learning more from you than the other way around! You bend words to your whim and the result is Poetry. Not just "poetry," but Poetry. It amazes me more with every piece I find. Since I'm as particular as a nitpicking editor, I see a couple of spelling errors - some people tell me the misspell on purpose, but I can't see that being the case with you. If it is, tell me to shut up - seems to be a common response this week. Here are my suggestions, take them as you will (or won't): "brown-bagged silhouettes" "red-eyed" "black-powdered" " 'til " (I don't know why, but it seems to fit there nicely) And a question about a question - you have used punctuation in much of this piece, do you think that a question mark in your end line would be appropriate? As always, totally up to the poet, the very definition of poetic license. ~ Ronda