SEPERATED

You are next to me, but I am alone

You talk to me, but you do not hear

We are together

but we are seperated by the drink in your hand

Your excuses I cannot except

My loneliness is too much for my heart to bear

All happiness of "US" is gone

and so am I

— JulieMcCarty, Aug 25, 2007

Critiques

barbsdad2003

18 years 11 months ago

An Insightful Piece Here

A couple of misspellings need address: lonliness ought be loneliness; and bare needs a respelt bear. Both conceptually (psychologically and visually) and as a brief narrative ... I find it wonderful! You are one smart writer. Thanx, Chuck

JulieMcCarty

18 years 11 months ago

Thanks

Thank you chuck. I have fixed my errors. I didn't even notice them when I posted. I am glad you liked this one.

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

go girl!

poetry can often express pain but it seldom presents the answer. This does. one little typo to add to Chuck's, "is to much" should be "is too much" cheers, Jess

JulieMcCarty

18 years 11 months ago

Thanks Jess

Thanks Jess sometimes I get caught up in actually typing instead of reading. I do not claim to be the best "speller" LOL I appreciate everyones comments and thanks for your help. I am glad you liked this one.

Jillian Botha

18 years 11 months ago

I liked this one :-)

hi Julie I loved this, it was a short, sweet yet powerful statement made by one who has been hurt by another's addiction and actions. Thanks for sharing this one with us..... Kind regards Feebie Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)

JulieMcCarty

18 years 11 months ago