The fog

Wow! This explains the way I felt exactly, you used some really good word phrases, I someday hope to do that as well!

hellishly delightful piece (though i'm not sure if this is a prose poem or prose fantasy, etc?) and you brilliantly pose the problem of whether awakening to an "eternal afterlife" will be really that much better than waking up down here on earth in our mortal coil. a riveting ride!

also dug the last line. cheers, Jess

This is awesome! You have painted a picture of your feelings and I to have shared those thoughts. Thanks for writing to me and talking to me. I can see now that you will be a good person for me to get to know :) I love your style of writing. Sincerly, Julie

Have read this several times over now and think your descriptions are so well thought out. Especially love the first three lines "Treading in the mucus of the lungs of despair Like a child franticly splashing around Just trying to make enough noise so someone would notice" It is so true that we go through life craving attention and love from others and sometimes all their attention gives us is a feeling of inadequacy or they try to demean us in order to make themselves feel better...I have been there mate and you are right, it is our own feelings of worthlessness that end up destroying us....or making us stronger! The title fits perfectly. A very sad read but something I can relate to.

Wow, the first three lines are so powerful, amazing descriptive detail and it carries right through the poem. Quality piece!xx emma

Strong metaphors - with mucus right out of the starting gate- sets up the sickness and disgust early on. I think you expressed yourself effectively. Glad to hear things have gotten better for you. Not sure about lung butter of fear and moldy bread of self deception - that one didn't quite feel right to me - I think maybe something truly making you ill - some injury, etc. would fit with what you initially started with better than butter and moldy bread - but others may feel differently so, see what they think before changing anything. Respectfully Yours, Amara

The word that comes to my mind when I read this is "cataclysm," because it seems to describe such a momentous revelation within a life. Quill's description of a "hellishly delightful piece" could not be better versed. The dark, raw imagery makes the mind want to turn away, but the soul senses the necessity to move on... Powerful writing, my friend. Best, Ronda

interesting piece. i personally would have never thought to describe feelings the way you have here. nicely done.