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Those Miles Between Us

A few moments ago you crossed my mind.

The thoughts were kind;

sort of mild

sort of wild

 

For once

I did not lose much sleep last night,

Oh! You were there, don’t get me wrong.

You held me tight and something tells me

you were aware that you were there,

all night

 

I sit here and I smile a gentle smile because,

you sit on the north end and I sit on the south end,

of those treacherous miles between us.

 

The miles between us never did like us,

they worked on us, and against us.

 

In the winter the miles would smile, because

it would cover itself with rain, sleet & snow,

testing our love to see if it would grow

and to see how far we would go

 

How sad you saw the miles between us

with a magnifying glass,

and I saw them from the sky

 

To me the miles were an inch apart,

but to you it was a world apart,

and you did not need me that far

away from you.  You needed me there and

closer, to fulfill those special

needs that you have.

 

 So now once again, the miles

has covered himself with the rain,

the sleet and the snow

 

And once again,

You sit on the north end and

I sit on the south end,

with those treacherous miles

between us.

 

Those treacherous miles smiles

because he thinks… he has won,

once more

 

 

— ladywriter, Aug 18, 2007

Critiques

S

SLoEDdie

18 years 10 months ago

Touching

i really liked this poem, such a capturing beggining and hard hitting ending! fills me with emotion.
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 10 months ago

Nice job

Sounds a bit wierd i know but I like the form of this poem - the shape it makes on the page gives it personality. I hope that makes sense. Like the ending - rounds the whole piece off very welland the repetition of 'you sit on the north and and I sit on the south end' gives it a slightly lyrical feel. Nice job -Kaz
L

ladywriter

18 years 10 months ago

Kaz

Hello there and thanks for stopping by. This poem had me thinking of a long-distant relationship. Mainly I was thinking of when I was in California if someone in northern California and the other person in southern California would have this type of relationship. There are many who can't deal with this type. Glad you enjoyed it, again thanks. ladywriter
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

Dig this,

reminds me in a sense of John Donne. Very clever wordplay without taking away from the emotional depth. Good poetry. Very. cheers, Jess

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