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This Ole House

Alone in the darkened house at night Walking down the long corridor. You hear a series of noises. You feel a sense of terror, like never before.   You feel eyes watching you. Your pulse begins to race. The pressure of a touch upon your skin Your heart stops beating in its place.   This ole house, its centuries old The floorboards creak, as you step gingerly. Suddenly from out of nowhere You hear a scream, like that of a banshee.   You race into your room Slam shut the door behind you. In the darkness as your eyes adjust The temperature drops around you.   Sheer terror, takes your breath away Your knees begin to fail. You blackout as your head hits the floor. Your face is sallow and pale.   When you come around You’re lying in your bed. The terror that you truly felt It was all in your head.      
— bellavistabear, Aug 18, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

You have such a gift for poetry,

wish you would use your power for good instead of Stephen King entertainment. Maybe that was a bit harsh. But the last line killed the authentic experience of terror. cheers, Jess

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