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Phantoms Dance

Phantoms dance

in sunlit rooms

And shadows gather

in the corners

of the cavernous mansion

in which I live

and hide

Inside where there’s

no one else but me,

Refracted and reflected,

stretched out in all dimensions,

The shadows offer

thunderous whispers

And the phantoms rehearse

their eerie, silent,

hushed and beckoning dance

In the hesitating stillness

of the moment before

I release my captured breath,

The phantoms

and the shadows

Flutter wings of dread,

fear swells up,

Extends beyond my skin,

Dry-icing me, enticing me

to dance the dance

of phantom shadows,

Enthralled, enchanted,

Adrift inside a dream

 

— waterdragon, Aug 15, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

Literally made me shiver.

"Dry-icing me, enticing me" is just magic. I adore your poetry, I can't separate the ways from the means, by which I mean it is so well crafted I can't tell how much is content and how much is style. A small technical note, if you put a space then an enter before the first line it will separate your poem from the "style" header. cheers, Jess
W

waterdragon

18 years 10 months ago

Appreciation to the max, dude!

Excellent, excellent suggestion - I had kinda noticed that myself as a "glitch" but hadn't been able to pinpoint exactly what the glitch was -- until now. Thanks, weirdelf, and thanks so much for reading my stuff! I've got more! I wrote 4 or 5 poems last night, I'll be posting later today, or maybe even a couple now. I write every day, usually between 2 and 5. I pray I continue to entice with my words. Peace out, yo!

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