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God is in the Details

I want to
               Do
Things
            To you …

My fingers dance
Restless, tingling

Remember our
First night?

OH

MY

GAWD!

My tongue trembles
Behind my lips,
Warm, luxurious,

Waiting …

Remember?
That first night?

    Oh
     My
       Gawd!

And my
              Netherworld?

My
Bristly, furry forest?

Wants its pine cones plucked its
Needles stroked its
Burgeoning wildlife tamed –

Hey! You can bark
Up this tree
Any time, honey!

Oh do I

Want to do

Things
               To you

Remember that, first.

Night? Oh My Gawd!
Come here come here, come

   Here

Come
Hither and yon

While I

Do things

To you

— waterdragon, Aug 15, 2007

Critiques

L

ladywriter

18 years 10 months ago

God is in the Details

Yes He is. This is soooooo beautiful and I love that you and yours are still in love and have 27 years behind you. I pray you have many more. If he keep you tingling; you will be together. There is nothing to critique about this; the words are perfect. I've got your type of marriage poem in my book of poems several times. I may even put one on here now. Be forever blessed as I know that you will. ladywriter
W

waterdragon

18 years 10 months ago

Forever Blessed

Thank you for your lovely comments! How do I add you to my buddy list? I'm new at this! I like your "handle", "ladywriter" -- very nice!
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

I must admit to being a little shocked

as I would not have been if I had not read your profile. You are clearly a more honest and human kind of Rev. than I have ever met. Perhaps if I had I might still be a christian. Or at least a Bahai. Like Lady I can't comment on your poetic structure (it's nice meeting an American who can spell, sadly rare). Just love the beautiful honesty of what you write. cheers, Jess
W

waterdragon

18 years 10 months ago

Yes, isn't it refreshing?

I really appreciate the fact that you read my profile and found the juxtaposition of pre-conceptions and my poem to be shocking -- 'twas not my intent to shock, more 'twas to surprise -- I am not a traditional in any sense of the word -- "All That Is is now, and we are part of All That Is, now" -- that's where I live and speak from. Thanks, Jess, so much! Have a glorious day!

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