Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

R
RandomThoughts
Aug 14, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Cardboard Box

Like you and me.

So strong yet so fragile.

Holding secrets inside.

Hush-hush.

Closed off to you and me.

Never knowing what’s inside.

Till the box opens up.

Cram it to full and it will break.

Made by hands unknown.

Analogy of the cardboard box.

Like you and me.

 

— RandomThoughts, Aug 14, 2007
More from this author

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

Excellent analogy and thoughtful

so that second last line, it seems to me, is completely un-necessary, even distracting. The line "Made by hands unknown." really adds depth and complexity. I've been meaning to ask, are the works you've been posting recently new works? cheers, Jess
R

RandomThoughts

18 years 10 months ago

Yes.

Yes as soon as I write them in my microsoft office word I paste them here and a few other sites as well. These are all very recent.
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

cool

nice to know I am not completely ignored, even when I am tactless in my feedback. cheers, Jess
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 9 months ago

my box

is a castle is a space ship is where I found out i could paint things any color. a trip back... thank you RT David

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in