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~~ Bitter Cold / Bitter Streets ~~

 

She had been a whore,

but not by choice.

The years of crying,

remembering all the him’s;

no one heard her voice

 

Bitter cold days and

bitter cold nights,

darkened alleys

junkies without sight

on another flight,

but just as bad as hers

 

She hated the nights

when she would end up

two miles from where

she had started.

Hating every time

her legs were parted

 

Her mother started her

on the streets.

Her father long gone,

body riddled with drugs.

Fresh is the memory

rats and bugs

 

The stale air of summer

filtered through the windows,

bringing memories of

the dilapidated rooms,

that had been home

 

 In the winter,

the uncovered windows

allowed the rain to

splash across the room;

but it was home.

 

She had not forgotten

the Church’s steeple

that always beckoned,

so high in the sky,

an Omen she reckoned,

when she was out and about

 

Finally she ran

because the time was right,

her eyes closed tight,

she kept the memory of the

Church’s steeple

 

It gave her solace

on those horrible

whorish nights

 

She opened the door

to say “No more”.

She ran to where

no harm could reach her

 

— ladywriter, Aug 13, 2007

Critiques

Mark

Mark

18 years 10 months ago

WOW! Lady ..

this is really ummm you write quite beautifully about a horid subject but harsh reality for some. The title is good for "her" as I see it. The language was great for the subject - not over done with vulgarities or explicitness, really quite crafty. I breezed right through it - no problem. I really don't care for the theme (who really does) but it is an important one I believe as it reminds me of how lucky I am and how she ended up and or how one might end up out of a mess like that.
L

ladywriter

18 years 10 months ago

mark

I love the critiquing on this particular one. As I said before, I was raised in a very small town and exposure to this type of environment was NONE. This just came to me one day long time ago. Thanks so much for your input.
Mark

Mark

18 years 10 months ago

You are very welcomed

I am always a bit nervous when it comes to critque, comment etc.. And aways breath a sigh of relief when I see the "Raw Truth" banner as it really makes it so much easier and at the same time I need to watch for that sensitive subject one as well. No matter what I am as ethical as I can possibly be. I really appreciate your letting me know I served you well, Mark
L

ladywriter

18 years 10 months ago

Jess

I guess back in the day, I watched too much television and picked up on some things I saw. Glad I was raised good, thanks for taking the time to read my work. ladywriter

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