truth in photocopiers

I’ll tell you a story,
a true one.
It’s starts out boring,
but gets better.
I worked as a photocopier
(how demeaning is that?
when your job title is the name of your machine.)
But I digress.
I worked as a photocopier.
Not your little office machines.
Great big industrial motherfuckers.
(glad I’m not a great big industrial motherfucker)
I digress easily,
sorry,
it was a boring job.
Reproducing,
not life,
endless needless things seldom read.
(I’m getting near the interesting bit)
(but it gets more boring first)
I had to clean the glass.
Well, these great big etceteras
don’t scan the document,
like your little office ones,
they oomph!
A big flash of light you can physically feel.
So, leaning over the glass,
trying to remove a stubborn bit of shmeck,
groping around for the sprayer,
I accidentally hit "Start" and
oomph!
right in my face.

And saw the souls of the newly dead
rising from their bodies
all over the planet.
It was curious.
There were greeters.
Those who believed in Christ were ushered off one way
(even the Catholics)
Muslims went another,
etcetera etcetera
those who believed in transmigration
joined the queue to come back.
The undecideds got to make a choice.
The athiests looked rather startled,
and vanished.
Some wouldn’t budge
and became ghosts.

Then it got scary.
The Christian heaven,
the Christian god,
was nothing more than all those souls joined together
and it was getting bigger.
Same with all the other religions.

After hours of watching,
fascinated, awed and scared
I decided on none of those fates and looked around.

The oomph was still in the air
and in my eyes,
half-blinded.
A workmate laughed.
I went home.