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dreams

I AM A DREAMER I LIVE FOR MY DREAMS
CAUSE IN THE REAL WORLD MY HEARTS BEEN TORN AT THE SEAMS

MY FAMILY ACT LIKE THEY LOVE ME BUT DO THEY REALLY CARE
IN MY LIFE I WONDER HAVE THEY BEEN THERE

SO I LIVE FOR THE TIME WHEN I GO TO SLEEP
I LAY DOWN IN BED AND THAN I WEEP

THAN THE DREAMS SET IN I DREAM OF HIS FACE
AND I’M HELD SO TIGHT IN HIS LOVEING EMBRACE

SWEET NOTHINGS ARE WHISPERED INTO MY EARS
HE SETTLES MY WORRIES AS I LET GO OF MY FEARS

I DREAM OF HIM OFTEN LIKE HE IS A GHOST
THIS IS THE MAN THAT I LOVE THE MOST

AS I SLOWLY WAKE UP IN THE MORING LIGHT
I REALIZE THE MAN IN MY DREAMS HAD STAYED THE NIGHT

THE ONLY MAN TO LOVE ME THE ONE I LOVE TO
HE IS THE MAN THAT MADE ALL MY DREAMS TRUE

— randysmom2007, Aug 08, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

Hi randysmom2007

Sorry you didn't get a warning before you posted but this site is about treating each poem individually, critical feedback and review, so please don't post so many at once again. I'll tell you how much we care. Because I hate poems in CAPS, I feel I am being shouted at, I copied it into Word and de-capped it and read it again, so I could be objective. Then I got the sadness, poignancy and love in this work. I do think the rhyming couplets work against you. It trivialises the genuine sentiment. cheers, Jess
P

purplemoondoll

18 years 10 months ago

Interesting Work...

yes please no caps - it spoils the flow! BUT that said I enjoyed reading this and like the style you have used here - lyrical, good imagery and a nice use of language...Kaz x

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