Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

moving on

i told my heart to stop beating cause he was not
here
i told my memorys to stop replaying of the times you were near

i told my baby its alright his daddy had to go away
that no matter what he loves him and he will be back someday

i try to tell him not to cry when he see’s a picture on the wall
i tell myself its all right even though you let me fall

i am sad about the way things turned out to be
but in a way i am happy you not with me

i met a great man and i am falling so fast
but i wonder how long this one will last

i hope its for good cause my baby loves him so
i pray that he loves me and won’t let me go

he is good to us and he is there all the time
if it came down to it he would give his last dime

i just have my doughts cause what i went threw
and that fact we are just starting out its all brand new

i hope it works out and he never sets me free
cause my heart can’t stand another heart break from some one close to me

— randysmom2007, Aug 08, 2007

Critiques

Rottiestyl

Rottiestyl

18 years 10 months ago

I have read several of your postings

The good thing is that you have a lot of passion to share. I hate to see your poetry passed over because of misspelled words or picking the wrong word. I am not big into rhyming poetry but I can see your effort in that area. Would like to see you use words that are not so obvious in their rhymes. Sometimes writing poetry can be like a final exam, nothing but pressure to pick the right answer. Keep up the good work. The more you write the better you will become. K. Mulroney

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.