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conformity

Fire is heating the core of all lost consciousnesses.
Destiny is drowning all dreams and unspoken truths alive within.
This desire is an overwhelming intense emotion that clouds all logic
The numbness was just a temporary illusion of pain.
Cover all feeling and creativity with this timid heat.
Blanket this fate with fallacious passion.
Isolate these lies and ignorant opinions to melt away in the rain.
crippling the ethereal side of lost creation
One single man spawned from god.
Metamorphosize yourself into this surreal being.
Cowardly accept this slow burn of belief.
hyperbolize the obvious fraud.
Allow the blistering comfort to overcome your soul too.
question all results.
wait endlessly for answers that will never emerge.
The calling of confusion transformed by beauty and the enlightened few.
Float away from god to find the world that sits below your wrist.
swim towards the light, and fall into the crevases of all that are damned to conformity.
these sad hearts attempting to reach happiness through stereotypes and failed attempts to properly inquire.
Fulfill yourself with wisdom and lovely pessimism.
For these isolated to one belief, breathed through water and failed to succumb to the fire.

— anonymitylll, Aug 02, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

I think you commented elsewhere

something to the effect that people who say your work is disjointed just don't have the ability to read it. That is arrogant and silly. Your work has deep emotion, powerful intelligence and great command of the language. But it is disjointed. Long lists of statements. It could be really good poetry. May I humbly suggest you read it aloud to yourself. Listen to the music of your language. It could be truly great. with respect, Jess
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Conect11

18 years 10 months ago

my wife

sighed in the other room, and that's all it took to distract me from this poem. And I don't distract easily from poetry, just ask her. This feels like a collection of lines. Good lines, but disjointed and only semi - coherent. It's like you've got the foundation and frame of the house, but need the walls to bring it together. Mark
A

anonymitylll

18 years 10 months ago

i would just like to say

i would just like to say thank you for the reply. I agree with you on one level, but the incoherence comes from the person whos actually reading it... someitmes simplicity is a comfort zone for people who are dogmatic. thanks anyway
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Conect11

18 years 10 months ago

your reply

is an easy cop out. Instead of finding ways to criticize people who are trying to give you helpful feedback you should accept it at face value. Your replies I have seen so far have shown a real lack of self confidence. Your poem had good points, but had points of incoherence. Get over it. Learn to accept feedback instead of trying to defend it by shifting the blame to the reader. Mark
A

anonymitylll

18 years 10 months ago

i shift no blame.. its just

i shift no blame.. its just the way it is. no critisizm.. i read your poems.. yeah. it was your way of writing.. but it was just very simple.. and i actually do have a lot of confidence.. its the beauty of a strong mind and will. And i do appreciate the helpful feedback, when their respectable... and your definition of incoherence is my definition of deep rooted symbolism that only a few certain people could grasp. thanks though!
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Conect11

18 years 10 months ago

God bless you

I shall just direct you to Prototype's quote. I'm glad you think yourself an intellectual. Enjoy posting these poems. You will not need to worry about more of my needless and obviously unsolicited feedback. In ten years you will continue to write in exactly the same way, with no hint of progress. Those who can not learn are dead.

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