Darkness

Close my door
Turn off the lights
I dont want to be heard tonight
Fold my arms
And close my eyes
I dont want this darkness to lie
Drop my head
And and hold my face
In a mirror im a disgrace

Was this life
Worth living
Were these lies
Worth lieing
Darkness Darkness
You shadow me
Like the shade of night over the sea
Darkness Darkness
You dont know
How badly you hurt me so

And now i have no light
And now i can’t find the time
One wrong move
And it’s over for a life time

The rain falls hard
And blinds my soul
The red moon shines brighter than most
The steps i take are mocked by all
So why do i wait to take the fall?
Too many tears have i spilt
Too many deals have i dealt
I close my eyes and take the gun
I start to finish what the darkness had begun

Black tears stained
The cheeks i love
I move in to touch
But shes locked up
A man stands alone
Beneath a streetlight in monotone
The days i left
Are far behind
In my lonlieness, only darkness shines

— A. M. Painter, Aug 01, 2007

Critiques

Mark

18 years 10 months ago

oK Painter this starts

as if you are speaking to another person when you write drop my head and hold my face it is a bit confusing. Where are you when you drop your head as there can be an assumption here that you are in bed. You might want to put the line "i don't want this darkness to lie" in another place maybe try the end or beginning of the stanza - maybe. in the last stanza I am wondering what man? You? I really like what I read here very much and hope my ideas are helpful. I understand that they are mine and it is your poetry and your decisions. Laters, Mark

A. M. Painter

18 years 10 months ago

an explanation

i wrote this one about two years ago, so i dont really remember what i was after, but the first paragraph "Drop my head, and hold my face" i didnt explain it that well. the person dropped his head in his hands, as if ashamed of himself, it was to be in the bathroom in front of the mirror. at the last stanza the man in the monotone street light was his past, as the days he left behind are there still to remind him. and it goes into the only thing he thinks about is the darkness, which was meant to be symbolic for, well i dont know, anything anyone wants it to be, to me it was loneliness. i dont know if that helps explaining it much, thankyou for your kinds words tho. a. m. painter

wellbelove

18 years 10 months ago

Wow

Amazing depth and relation to darkness that shadows a fantastic twist of thought I see you say that you wrote this two years ago - well I hope that over the next two years you write far more verse thank you Christopher

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