asphyxiation please

dreading each and every thought of happiness is slowly overwhelming me with dillusion and candor for unease to be content.

Breathing in the blADES of hate from every spirit i touch is shredding all dreams slowly towards the differential oblivion on which my heart vents.

I cant help this intent that pulls me ahead towards the undertow that spirals.

this dreadful swirling from the past eternal love that grips violently at
every move in which i conceive

i keep moving and touching everything I see. i hope im still conscious to the everlasting oblivion,that empowers the benevolence that still resides cowardly.

begging to leave.

the shimmering soul that touches my hand and heart is vast, fierce, and alive within my own fears of self doubt.

this cowardice that intrinsicly overtakes my desperation to have and hold on to that one special moment is surely fading.

Distance not only sours my thoughts, but dulls all fears that are bleeding out through my fingertips.

This long walk alone in my own eccentric darkness
converts to a despondent moon that pulls all energy towards that creative and tearful waning.

Once again, i see myself through everlasting transparent eyes of indecision and solemness. Can this be real enough to walk away from the promise of a life that dies so desperately, trapped within its own thoughts.

Alone and ripping at that hope, it never leaves my hindsight for eternity.

fatigue from fighting myself seems to be he only escape that lowers  on to my level of sickness  and distraught

desperation; my act of love. loneliness; my eternal heart. hate; resentment from past regression. fear; the only thing
that keeps me awake.

death; my only certain hope for the future. love; what i cringe to overpower. alive and earnest, i epiphanize the faults of my indecision.

Beaten down my by own self doubt is the beginning and the long ride to that slow end that will fault itself and finally quake in my tunnel of vision