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The second chance

The second chance

Wakeing up to a new life

Learning from your mistakes

Shows you how much life is worth

You can never give up

Never just say I’m done

You have to keep pushing

You have to keep trying

Life is give and take

If you don’t give

Life will take

Until you think you’ve breathed your last breath

You never know what all you shouldv’e done

Could’ve done

Enjoy every smile

Love every second

So you leave life behind with a smile

Instead of leaveing with regret

If you have no light

Then turn it on

If you can’t see

Open your eyes

Simplicities of life

That only one can hope to find

 

— poet_inside, Jul 19, 2007

Critiques

C

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

Brit,

while what you said here is true, and I agree with the sentiments I think you've gotten yourself stuck in the Hallmark rut here. I so would expect to see this on a greeting card. Hey, that might be a good thing if you can make a ridiculously obscene amount of money on a cheesy card, but for me it makes me cry, and not in a "this poem is so damn good it makes me cry" sort of way. You, my friend have done, and can do so much better. Mark
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

While essentially agreeing with Mark

I've got to say I loved "If you don’t give Life will take" Be careful when you write in the second person, you, talking directly to your reader, that's when it is so easy to become preachy or hallmarky. cheers, Jess

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