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Young Love

In seats of clouds,
Amidst a throne of cotton white
High above this mortal sphere,
Angels carved young lovers fate.
From Happy Endings to New Beginnings
Young love was sought, and gained.

Stretched along the archers bow
A silver lining heart engraved,
And with an arrow sharp, just like a dart,
They pierce the heart of unknowing victim.

Although most times love would prevail,
Even romance tells sad tales.
In times such as these,
The divine bow their heads to pay their respects,
For even their majesty knows,
Young love should know no unhappy end.
Either way the fates reign is supreme,
As she signs her name in the golden book of destiny.

 

— Alijandra, Jul 19, 2007

Critiques

C

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

ssssccccccrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaaccccccchhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

well, Ali it had to end sometime. I've loved everything I've read of yours up to this point, but I'm just not digging this at all. It might be more my taste than your writing, understand, but this just comes off way too thick and syrupy. There are a few good lines in here, such as the one about romance telling sad tales, but overall it just doesn't gel for me. Sowwies :( Mark
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

pssst Alijandra

just quietly I think Mark missed the irony. I chuckled, or is it me that got it wrong? cheers, Jess
A

Alijandra

18 years 11 months ago

Awww

Your right jess. He must have missed it (irony,lol). Oh well... some guys just dont understand the things that come out of a girls head. " Some will love it, Some will hate it... and others will scratch there head in wonder"! I'd like to thank you all for your honesty. P.s Maybe the next one mark...lol ~Ali XoXo

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